“The hard-and-fast ethical rules we come up with in conversation often don’t feel as compelling in real life”
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“The hard-and-fast ethical rules we come up with in conversation often don’t feel as compelling in real life”
“The more we practice pleasure in a way that is slow enough for us actually to integrate it and really enjoy it without being overwhelmed,” Kai advises, “the more our capacity grows”
I told my friend she needed to stop centring herself and step back, and she got upset. Was I being too harsh?
The actor boyfriends are the possibility models I didn’t know I needed
Kai advises a reader whose friend bought a house with the help of family money—after spending more than a decade claiming to be working class
Ask yourself if sexuality plays a primary role in intimacy, or if sexuality can be explored outside the relationship?
When I was ready to dive deeper, she started pulling away. I barely had the skills to handle it
“The mark of a healthy relationship is one that can withstand conflict and challenge, and simultaneously, one where everybody’s boundaries are respected.”
The U.S. Supreme Court may be threatening to reverse progress on LGBTQ2S+ rights, but countries the world over are pushing marriage equality forward
What’s important is that we are expressing interest, inviting consent and then we become erotic explorers
My difficulty with coming out of the closet kept me lonely while living in a conservative city in Korea
Not everyone with more than one partner is in an open relationship, argues OPEN group
Kai advises a reader that “holding multiple truths is more complex than simply holding all truths to be equal—because not all beliefs are equal in social status and social power”
Give yourself permission to enter the realm of sexuality with an open mind, ready to get messy and make mistakes
We’re heading into murky ethical territory, advice columnist Kai Cheng Thom cautions. But even in the darkest places, there is hope, healing and an abundance of life, in all its messy glory
Through marriage, pregnancy, birth and transition, my relationship to my partner, a fellow rock climber, kept evolving along with me
Sexuality is definitely an experiment, but experiment with people not on people
Kai advises a reader who wants to honour her friend’s boundaries—without sacrificing her own