I’m not on PrEP. Is it weird to ask for condoms during hook-ups?

“I assure you, you are doing nothing wrong by asking to practice safer sex,” Kai advises

These are the best sex toys for ‘sides’

From vibrators to strokers, these sex toys are perfect for people who don’t want to prioritize penetration during masturbation or partnered play

By Bobby Box

Love & Sex

Grindr’s new CEO supports ‘some’ of Trump’s policies. Why are we surprised?

OPINION: George Arison’s tweets are just another reminder: corporations are not our friends

By Alex V Green

Ask Kai: Quickies

How do my girlfriend and I overcome ‘lesbian bed death’?

Spend some time together naked or in a bath without the goal being sex, Kai advises

By Kai Cheng Thom

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I want to help queer youth—but I’m afraid of being labelled a “groomer”

“Let’s go to war with the heterosexual world. Let’s kill the homophobe in our hearts and trample its grave”

By Kai Cheng Thom

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

When is it okay to ask someone with less privilege than you to cut you some slack?

Kai answers a reader whose conflict with a friend is further complicated by race, mental health and privilege

By Kai Cheng Thom

Ask Kai: Quickies

My partner became solo poly without telling me

“Whenever that kind of news comes as a surprise or comes secondhand or thirdhand, then it is likely to be hurtful,” Kai says

By Corey Misquita, Kai Cheng Thom

Love Like Mine

All I wanted was to make my family happy, until I found what made me happy

PERSONAL ESSAY: An epic love story between an Iraqi Arab and a Punjabi Sikh

By Hasan Namir

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I sent some (fully dressed) selfies to a prospective date and they blocked me. What am I missing?

Kai helps a reader navigate the sometimes complicated world of personal boundaries

By Kai Cheng Thom

Marriage Equality

This lesbian couple just married in Romania—even though same-sex marriage is illegal

The women were able to sidestep their country’s definition of marriage because one of them had not yet had her gender changed on her official documents

By Ursula Muñoz S.

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I have herpes. Do I have to tell every single partner about it?

“The hard-and-fast ethical rules we come up with in conversation often don’t feel as compelling in real life”

By Kai Cheng Thom

Ask Kai: Quickies

How do I remove shame from sex?

“The more we practice pleasure in a way that is slow enough for us actually to integrate it and really enjoy it without being overwhelmed,” Kai advises, “the more our capacity grows”

By Kai Cheng Thom, Lito Howse

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

How much space should white-passing people take up in the antiracist movement?

I told my friend she needed to stop centring herself and step back, and she got upset. Was I being too harsh?

By Kai Cheng Thom

Identity

Why I started a digital shrine to Justice Smith and Nic Ashe’s relationship

The actor boyfriends are the possibility models I didn’t know I needed

By Mikelle Street

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

My friend has been lying about being poor for years. How can I ever trust them again?

Kai advises a reader whose friend bought a house with the help of family money—after spending more than a decade claiming to be working class

By Kai Cheng Thom

Ask Kai: Quickies

My trans partner is no longer attracted to me or my gender. What should I do?

Ask yourself if sexuality plays a primary role in intimacy, or if sexuality can be explored outside the relationship?

By Xtra Video

Love Like Mine

Is a love that starts out red-hot more likely to be a love that burns out?

When I was ready to dive deeper, she started pulling away. I barely had the skills to handle it

By Alena Papayanis

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

Am I a bad person for not wanting to talk about my friend’s dysphoria all the time?

“The mark of a healthy relationship is one that can withstand conflict and challenge, and simultaneously, one where everybody’s boundaries are respected.”

By Kai Cheng Thom