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Ask Kai: Quickies (formally known as Quick Tips for the Apocalypse) is Xtra’s video series featuring sex and relationship advice from Kai Cheng Thom. If you want a deeper dive and have the time, Kai’s text-based column, Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse, is definitely worth checking out.
When it comes to kinky sex, it’s best to test the waters first
“Always look for the hallmarks of consent,” Kai says
Kai says “this is not usually about the trans person’s beauty because trans people are gorgeous and sexy”
The key is to go slow and warm up!
With the Omicron variant and rising Covid-19 cases, should we be cautious about spending the holidays with family members who are unvaccinated?
I’m 32 years old and my partner is 21 years old. Is it still okay to date?
A viewer wants to ask Kai, “Am I allowed to send them home?”
Am I allowed to tell them how to do it better or is that rude?
Just remember, you’re in it together
Communication, consent and self-discovery are key to keeping the relationship—and the intimacy—healthy
It’s a long journey to self-discovery, so enjoy the process!
“Great question,” Kai Cheng Thom responds to a reader. “If you figure it out, let me know”
Let the awkwardness wash over you
Aim for “patience and gentle compassion, but also holding boundaries,” Kai says
Because sometimes even Kai needs a few quick tips
“Nobody knows. There aren’t rules.”
A reader wonders what’s the least bad way to avoid someone
A trans reader asks how to advocate for their rights at work
