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Ask Kai: Quickies

Ask Kai: Quickies (formally known as Quick Tips for the Apocalypse) is Xtra’s video series featuring sex and relationship advice from Kai Cheng Thom. If you want a deeper dive and have the time, Kai’s text-based column, Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse, is definitely worth checking out.

How do I talk to my white partner about anti-Asian racism right now?
Ask Kai: Quickies

How do I talk to my white partner about anti-Asian racism right now?

“Know that it’s not all on us to explain,” Kai advises

By Xtra Video
My partner’s family still thinks I’m the roommate. What can I do?
Video

My partner’s family still thinks I’m the roommate. What can I do?

“We are not meant to be secrets,” Kai advises a reader

By Xtra Video
How do I keep myself from burning out caring for others?
Ask Kai: Quickies

How do I keep myself from burning out caring for others?

Boundaries are hard

By Xtra Video
I want to start doing sex work, but my partner doesn’t like the idea
Ask Kai: Quickies

I want to start doing sex work, but my partner doesn’t like the idea

Can we make this work?

By Xtra Video
Everyone thinks I’m gay—except me. Do I need to do anything about this?
Ask Kai: Quickies

Everyone thinks I’m gay—except me. Do I need to do anything about this?

Or should I just let it be?

By Xtra Video
My best friend is hooking up with my worst enemies. What do I do?
Ask Kai: Quickies

My best friend is hooking up with my worst enemies. What do I do?

It’s going to get messy

By Xtra Video
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I’m a lesbian and not into relationships. Is it harsh to tell someone I’m just interested in sex?
Ask Kai: Quickies

I’m a lesbian and not into relationships. Is it harsh to tell someone I’m just interested in sex?

Kai on how to talk about hookups

By Xtra Video
Unsolicited advice from Kai Cheng Thom
Ask Kai: Quickies

Unsolicited advice from Kai Cheng Thom

Because the best kind of advice is the kind you didn’t ask for

By Xtra Video
Quarantine is delaying my transition. How do I cope while waiting?
Ask Kai: Quickies

Quarantine is delaying my transition. How do I cope while waiting?

Kai on how to care for yourself while waiting for gender-affirming care

By Xtra Video
How do I know if I’m asexual?
Ask Kai: Quickies

How do I know if I’m asexual?

By Xtra Video
I get flirty vibes from my “straight” friend. What do I do?
Ask Kai: Quickies

I get flirty vibes from my “straight” friend. What do I do?

By Xtra Video
How do I come out as bisexual to people I’m dating?
Ask Kai: Quickies

How do I come out as bisexual to people I’m dating?

By Xtra Video
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I’m starting to date again. How do I have the COVID-19 safety talk?
Ask Kai: Quickies

I’m starting to date again. How do I have the COVID-19 safety talk?

By Xtra Video
My partner and I haven’t been having sex since the pandemic started. What can we do?
Ask Kai: Quickies

My partner and I haven’t been having sex since the pandemic started. What can we do?

By Xtra Video
I had a breakup just before the pandemic, and I’m having a hard time. What can I do?
Ask Kai: Quickies

I had a breakup just before the pandemic, and I’m having a hard time. What can I do?

By Xtra Video
I’m sad about missing Pride this year. What can I do instead?
Ask Kai: Quickies

I’m sad about missing Pride this year. What can I do instead?

By Xtra Video
How do I talk to my partner about an open relationship?
Ask Kai: Quickies

How do I talk to my partner about an open relationship?

By Xtra Video
Can I come out to my parents over Zoom?
Ask Kai: Quickies

Can I come out to my parents over Zoom?

By Xtra Video
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