Kai advises a trans reader who keeps on getting ghosted: “your actions should be focused on providing yourself with closure instead of trying to squeeze it out of him”
Kai Cheng Thom
Kai Cheng Thom is a writer, performer, and social worker who divides her heart between Montreal and Toronto, unceded Indigenous territories. She is the author of the Lambda Award-nominated novel Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl's Confabulous Memoir (Metonymy Press), as well as the poetry collection a place called No Homeland (Arsenal Pulp Press). Her latest book, Falling Back in Love with Being Human, a collection of letters and poetry, is out now from Penguin Random House Canada.
The guy I’m seeing says he likes trans women, but won’t go down on them. Should I ditch him?
“It’s important to recognize that our sexual preferences don’t emerge from a vacuum”
I’m just not that into the guy I’m seeing. Can I ghost him?
“Breaking up is nearly always unpleasant. If you have to be a villain—temporarily!—how can you play that role with the greatest possible integrity and kindness?”
My girlfriend won’t take COVID-19 seriously. What should I do?
Kai weighs in on what to do when your partner is willing to take far more risks than you are
I’m genuinely falling for my new girlfriend—so why can’t I enjoy having sex with her?
A newly-out lesbian questions why she freezes whenever things heat up between her and her partner
I’m a woman in a relationship with a man. How can I explore my newfound bisexuality?
Kai advises a reader who recently came out that there are many ways to build queer community
