Kai Cheng Thom

Kai Cheng Thom is a writer, performer, and social worker who divides her heart between Montreal and Toronto, unceded Indigenous territories. She is the author of the Lambda Award-nominated novel Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl's Confabulous Memoir (Metonymy Press), as well as the poetry collection a place called No Homeland (Arsenal Pulp Press). Her latest book, Falling Back in Love with Being Human, a collection of letters and poetry, is out now from Penguin Random House Canada.

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I’m a gay sex worker and COVID-19 has affected my income. My friends say I should look for a ‘safer’ job. What should I do?

July 7, 2020

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

Quarantining with my partner made me realize I want to break up. Should I leave or try to save this?

June 23, 2020

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I’m a cis guy looking to date a trans woman. How do I start?

June 9, 2020

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I love my boyfriend, but he’s the only guy I’ve slept with. Can I have a ‘slutty phase’ without destroying our relationship?

May 26, 2020

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I just got out of a long-term, sexless relationship. I want to hire a sex worker but I’m conflicted, and self-conscious. Should I just forget it?

March 17, 2020

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

My trans partner is traumatized by her transition, and is too triggered to support me through mine. I’m so hurt. Can this relationship be saved?

March 3, 2020

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

My abusive ex and I run in the same queer arts circle, and I can’t leave the community without risking my livelihood. What should I do?

February 18, 2020

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

Kai Cheng Thom

We’re a May-December gay couple and our friends think our relationship is problematic and abusive. Are they right?

I think I’m asexual but I’m into kinky porn, which my friends say is problematic. Am I a bad person?

My genital warts returned and it’s ruined my self-esteem and intimacy with my partner. How do I forgive myself?

I’m a gay sex worker and COVID-19 has affected my income. My friends say I should look for a ‘safer’ job. What should I do?

Quarantining with my partner made me realize I want to break up. Should I leave or try to save this?

I’m a cis guy looking to date a trans woman. How do I start?

I love my boyfriend, but he’s the only guy I’ve slept with. Can I have a ‘slutty phase’ without destroying our relationship?

Sobriety exposed how I treated my past partners. I’m ready to date again, but do I even deserve to find love?

My girlfriend and I have an active sex life—but she won’t go down on me. How do I bring this up without shaming her?

My roommates aren’t physically distancing and I’ve had enough. Should I call the police?

I’m an old gay rights activist who wants to support the younger generation. Shouldn’t I expect that support in return?

How queer and marginalized communities can take care of one another during COVID-19

I just got out of a long-term, sexless relationship. I want to hire a sex worker but I’m conflicted, and self-conscious. Should I just forget it?

My trans partner is traumatized by her transition, and is too triggered to support me through mine. I’m so hurt. Can this relationship be saved?

My abusive ex and I run in the same queer arts circle, and I can’t leave the community without risking my livelihood. What should I do?

I’m a queer support worker who struggles with addiction. How can I be open about this without risking my job?

My wife and I are new parents—and I’m miserable and exhausted. How can I stop feeling like a terrible parent?

After my divorce I came out as gay—now my adult kids hate me. How do I mend our relationship?