“The hard-and-fast ethical rules we come up with in conversation often don’t feel as compelling in real life”
Kai Cheng Thom
Kai Cheng Thom is a writer, performer, and social worker who divides her heart between Montreal and Toronto, unceded Indigenous territories. She is the author of the Lambda Award-nominated novel Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl's Confabulous Memoir (Metonymy Press), as well as the poetry collection a place called No Homeland (Arsenal Pulp Press). Her latest book, Falling Back in Love with Being Human, a collection of letters and poetry, is out now from Penguin Random House Canada.
How do I remove shame from sex?
“The more we practice pleasure in a way that is slow enough for us actually to integrate it and really enjoy it without being overwhelmed,” Kai advises, “the more our capacity grows”
How much space should white-passing people take up in the antiracist movement?
I told my friend she needed to stop centring herself and step back, and she got upset. Was I being too harsh?
Is it fair to date non-binary trans femmes without knowing how I identify?
“I’m just going to go ahead and say, ‘Yes!’” Kai advises. “Go forth, with some caveats.”
My friend has been lying about being poor for years. How can I ever trust them again?
Kai advises a reader whose friend bought a house with the help of family money—after spending more than a decade claiming to be working class
Am I a bad person for not wanting to talk about my friend’s dysphoria all the time?
“The mark of a healthy relationship is one that can withstand conflict and challenge, and simultaneously, one where everybody’s boundaries are respected.”
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