“Let’s go to war with the heterosexual world. Let’s kill the homophobe in our hearts and trample its grave”
Kai Cheng Thom
Kai Cheng Thom is a writer, performer, and social worker who divides her heart between Montreal and Toronto, unceded Indigenous territories. She is the author of the Lambda Award-nominated novel Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl's Confabulous Memoir (Metonymy Press), as well as the poetry collection a place called No Homeland (Arsenal Pulp Press). Her latest book, Falling Back in Love with Being Human, a collection of letters and poetry, is out now from Penguin Random House Canada.
When is it okay to ask someone with less privilege than you to cut you some slack?
Kai answers a reader whose conflict with a friend is further complicated by race, mental health and privilege
My partner became solo poly without telling me
“Whenever that kind of news comes as a surprise or comes secondhand or thirdhand, then it is likely to be hurtful,” Kai says
I sent some (fully dressed) selfies to a prospective date and they blocked me. What am I missing?
Kai helps a reader navigate the sometimes complicated world of personal boundaries
I have herpes. Do I have to tell every single partner about it?
“The hard-and-fast ethical rules we come up with in conversation often don’t feel as compelling in real life”
How do I remove shame from sex?
“The more we practice pleasure in a way that is slow enough for us actually to integrate it and really enjoy it without being overwhelmed,” Kai advises, “the more our capacity grows”
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