I’m unhappy in my relationship and my partner is struggling. How can I possibly leave them?

Kai explains how to create an ethical and caring exit plan for a partnership that is no longer working

By Kai Cheng Thom

My Safe Space

I figured out my IRL drama watching ‘Vanderpump Rules’

As my own life began to feel less real, I found myself needing a dose of reality during the pandemic

By Sadie Graham

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I’m a trans man attracted to men—but how do I get over my fear of them?

Kai advises a trans man on how to embrace his masculinity and make space for himself in cis, gay culture

By Kai Cheng Thom

The Xtra Long Read

Suicidal ideation, my intrusive visitor

Culturally, we fear talking about suicide. But for Niko Stratis, speaking openly about suicidal ideation was the only way to end its stigma

By Niko Stratis

That’s the Way It Is

The right tried to cancel Kathy Griffin, but the tenacious comedian is determined to have the last laugh

After surviving the T***p mask controversy, Griffin reveals her cancer diagnosis and struggle with addiction

By Thomas Leblanc, Tranna Wintour

Mental Health

Struggling with re-entry anxiety? You’re not alone

Life coach and spiritual seeker Jordan Bach offers tips to help us prepare for post-pandemic life

By Jumol Royes

My Safe Space

In the darkness of the pandemic, I found light in a WhatsApp group chat

A writer with borderline personality disorder found a virtual space free from stigma and brimming with humour

By Miranda Newman

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I survived an abusive relationship. How can I feel comfortable to start dating again?

Kai offers advice on how to re-engage with dating and sex after a traumatic partnership

By Kai Cheng Thom

Books

Death is around every corner in this queer author’s grimly funny debut novel

In “Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead,” Emily Austin examines the intersection of queerness, religion and mental illness

By Mel Woods

Xtra Weekly

Topline: When will our bodies release the pandemic stress?

As public spaces reopen, I’m learning to manage the anxiety caused by COVID-19

By Lito Howse

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I want more sex than my partner does. How do I get my needs met without pushing her boundaries?

Meeting differing sexual needs and desires might be hard, Kai says, but there are practically infinite ways of giving and receiving pleasure

By Kai Cheng Thom

Mental Health

How to provide mental health support, even when you can’t be there in person

The COVID-19 pandemic has made face-to-face caregiving more difficult. Here are 6 ways we can support each other from afar

By Logan Summer

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

Why is it so hard to make close friends as an adult?

Kai advises a reader on how to deepen bonds with acquaintances and build their own “Scooby gang”

By Kai Cheng Thom

My Safe Space

Amid canned foods and dishes, I found pandemic solitude in my pantry

I needed a place to ground myself, a place of solitude, of familiarity, of nourishment. I needed the pantry

By Allyson Darling

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

What can I do to mend the damage I caused to my former partner?

Transformative justice and making amends doesn’t always mean staying close

By Kai Cheng Thom

My Safe Space

The solo back porch dance parties that revived me

I took queer nightlife for granted until I couldn’t access it anymore—so I made my own dance floor

By Emma Glassman-Hughes

Health

A life-saving journey to self-advocacy

How one non-binary writer overcame a litany of microaggressions within the mental health care system

By Logan Summer

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

Am I bi, pan, asexual, just plain straight or maybe even gay?

Kai counsels a questioning Gen Z reader riding a “sexual rollercoaster”

By Kai Cheng Thom