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Displaying all articles tagged:

Advice

How can I decolonize my desire?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

How can I decolonize my desire?

I’ve been taught all my life to prioritize white beauty standards and dismiss other BIPOC guys. How can I reclaim my sexuality?

By Kai Cheng Thom
I’m a trans man who doesn’t want to transition medically or socially. Am I betraying my community?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I’m a trans man who doesn’t want to transition medically or socially. Am I betraying my community?

Kai advises a reader who feels pressure to stay in the closet

By Kai Cheng Thom
My bosses keep misgendering my co-worker. Should I say something?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

My bosses keep misgendering my co-worker. Should I say something?

“It takes a strong soul to correct a person in a position of power—but this is what it means to stand up to injustice.”

By Kai Cheng Thom
My ex says I harmed them. How can I disagree without invalidating their experience?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

My ex says I harmed them. How can I disagree without invalidating their experience?

A reader navigates wanting to challenge a previous partner’s version of events—without turning the conflict into a “he said, she said” situation

By Kai Cheng Thom
How do my girlfriend and I overcome ‘lesbian bed death’?
Ask Kai: Quickies

How do my girlfriend and I overcome ‘lesbian bed death’?

Spend some time together naked or in a bath without the goal being sex, Kai advises

By Kai Cheng Thom
I want to help queer youth—but I’m afraid of being labelled a “groomer”
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I want to help queer youth—but I’m afraid of being labelled a “groomer”

“Let’s go to war with the heterosexual world. Let’s kill the homophobe in our hearts and trample its grave”

By Kai Cheng Thom
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When is it okay to ask someone with less privilege than you to cut you some slack?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

When is it okay to ask someone with less privilege than you to cut you some slack?

Kai answers a reader whose conflict with a friend is further complicated by race, mental health and privilege

By Kai Cheng Thom
My partner became solo poly without telling me
Ask Kai: Quickies

My partner became solo poly without telling me

“Whenever that kind of news comes as a surprise or comes secondhand or thirdhand, then it is likely to be hurtful,” Kai says

By Corey Misquita, Kai Cheng Thom
I sent some (fully dressed) selfies to a prospective date and they blocked me. What am I missing?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I sent some (fully dressed) selfies to a prospective date and they blocked me. What am I missing?

Kai helps a reader navigate the sometimes complicated world of personal boundaries

By Kai Cheng Thom
I have herpes. Do I have to tell every single partner about it?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I have herpes. Do I have to tell every single partner about it?

“The hard-and-fast ethical rules we come up with in conversation often don’t feel as compelling in real life”

By Kai Cheng Thom
How much space should white-passing people take up in the antiracist movement?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

How much space should white-passing people take up in the antiracist movement?

I told my friend she needed to stop centring herself and step back, and she got upset. Was I being too harsh?

By Kai Cheng Thom
My friend has been lying about being poor for years. How can I ever trust them again?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

My friend has been lying about being poor for years. How can I ever trust them again?

Kai advises a reader whose friend bought a house with the help of family money—after spending more than a decade claiming to be working class

By Kai Cheng Thom
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What do I need to know about HRT and birth control?
Ask an Expert

What do I need to know about HRT and birth control?

Can you still get pregnant while taking testosterone? Does estrogen affect fertility? An expert answers your questions about gender-affirming hormones and contraception

By Laurence Fox
Am I a bad person for not wanting to talk about my friend’s dysphoria all the time?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

Am I a bad person for not wanting to talk about my friend’s dysphoria all the time?

“The mark of a healthy relationship is one that can withstand conflict and challenge, and simultaneously, one where everybody’s boundaries are respected.”

By Kai Cheng Thom
I see myself as different from cis women. Does that make me a ‘bad’ trans woman?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I see myself as different from cis women. Does that make me a ‘bad’ trans woman?

Kai advises a reader that “holding multiple truths is more complex than simply holding all truths to be equal—because not all beliefs are equal in social status and social power”

By Kai Cheng Thom
How do I gain the confidence to use a strap-on?
Ask Kai: Quickies

How do I gain the confidence to use a strap-on?

Give yourself permission to enter the realm of sexuality with an open mind, ready to get messy and make mistakes

By Xtra Video
Is it ever the right choice to ‘cancel’ someone?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

Is it ever the right choice to ‘cancel’ someone?

We’re heading into murky ethical territory, advice columnist Kai Cheng Thom cautions. But even in the darkest places, there is hope, healing and an abundance of life, in all its messy glory

By Kai Cheng Thom
Top, bottom, verse or switch? How do I decide?
Ask Kai: Quickies

Top, bottom, verse or switch? How do I decide?

Sexuality is definitely an experiment, but experiment with people not on people

By Xtra Video
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