I’ve been taught all my life to prioritize white beauty standards and dismiss other BIPOC guys. How can I reclaim my sexuality?
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Displaying all articles tagged:
I’ve been taught all my life to prioritize white beauty standards and dismiss other BIPOC guys. How can I reclaim my sexuality?
Kai advises a reader who feels pressure to stay in the closet
“It takes a strong soul to correct a person in a position of power—but this is what it means to stand up to injustice.”
A reader navigates wanting to challenge a previous partner’s version of events—without turning the conflict into a “he said, she said” situation
Spend some time together naked or in a bath without the goal being sex, Kai advises
“Let’s go to war with the heterosexual world. Let’s kill the homophobe in our hearts and trample its grave”
Kai answers a reader whose conflict with a friend is further complicated by race, mental health and privilege
“Whenever that kind of news comes as a surprise or comes secondhand or thirdhand, then it is likely to be hurtful,” Kai says
Kai helps a reader navigate the sometimes complicated world of personal boundaries
“The hard-and-fast ethical rules we come up with in conversation often don’t feel as compelling in real life”
I told my friend she needed to stop centring herself and step back, and she got upset. Was I being too harsh?
Kai advises a reader whose friend bought a house with the help of family money—after spending more than a decade claiming to be working class
Can you still get pregnant while taking testosterone? Does estrogen affect fertility? An expert answers your questions about gender-affirming hormones and contraception
“The mark of a healthy relationship is one that can withstand conflict and challenge, and simultaneously, one where everybody’s boundaries are respected.”
Kai advises a reader that “holding multiple truths is more complex than simply holding all truths to be equal—because not all beliefs are equal in social status and social power”
Give yourself permission to enter the realm of sexuality with an open mind, ready to get messy and make mistakes
We’re heading into murky ethical territory, advice columnist Kai Cheng Thom cautions. But even in the darkest places, there is hope, healing and an abundance of life, in all its messy glory
Sexuality is definitely an experiment, but experiment with people not on people