How do I gain the confidence to use a strap-on?

Give yourself permission to enter the realm of sexuality with an open mind, ready to get messy and make mistakes

“When we are new, we often see ourselves as inadequate, shy and embarrassing, particularly when it comes to the body and to sexuality. So it’s important to start with a base level of self affirmation,” says Xtra advice columnist Kai Cheng Thom. “It’s okay to be new at something. It’s okay to not know what to do. Sex is always kind of embarrassing and awkward anyway, and that doesn’t necessarily make it any less fun, exciting or revelatory.”

It’s our latest in the video series “Ask Kai: Quick Tips for the Apocalypse,” offering relationship advice for those in a hurry.

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