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Xtra is an online magazine and community platform covering LGBTQ2S+ culture, politics and health. We aim to break boundaries, think outside of binaries and build bridges within our communities and beyond.

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Kai Cheng Thom

Kai Cheng Thom is a writer, performer, and social worker who divides her heart between Montreal and Toronto, unceded Indigenous territories. She is the author of the Lambda Award-nominated novel Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl's Confabulous Memoir (Metonymy Press), as well as the poetry collection a place called No Homeland (Arsenal Pulp Press). Her latest book, Falling Back in Love with Being Human, a collection of letters and poetry, is out now from Penguin Random House Canada.

I’m bisexual and going on my first date with another woman after coming out. I’m nervous. Will I know what to do?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I’m bisexual and going on my first date with another woman after coming out. I’m nervous. Will I know what to do?

November 26, 2019
Can trans women and radical feminists find sisterhood?
Power

Can trans women and radical feminists find sisterhood?

The debate over whose lives and rights are more important distracts from revolutionary work that could benefit us all

November 18, 2019
I’m a sex worker and my partner is making me feel ashamed about what I do. Do I leave him or my job?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I’m a sex worker and my partner is making me feel ashamed about what I do. Do I leave him or my job?

November 12, 2019
I came out as non-binary and the people in my life are struggling to understand. How do I seek acceptance for my identity while advocating for my own needs?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I came out as non-binary and the people in my life are struggling to understand. How do I seek acceptance for my identity while advocating for my own needs?

October 29, 2019
The Canadian federal election is coming up. As a queer person, I’m not confident in any of the candidates. Should I even vote?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

The Canadian federal election is coming up. As a queer person, I’m not confident in any of the candidates. Should I even vote?

October 15, 2019
I’m trans and studying for a career in an industry dominated by straight men. The microaggressions are getting to me. Should I drop out?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I’m trans and studying for a career in an industry dominated by straight men. The microaggressions are getting to me. Should I drop out?

October 1, 2019
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We can choose to consume each other, or we can choose love
Books

We can choose to consume each other, or we can choose love

Instead of punishment, let’s try understanding justice in queer and trans communities through an ethic of love

September 25, 2019
I believe my friend has changed their abusive ways, but our queer friends don’t buy it. How can I support my friend?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I believe my friend has changed their abusive ways, but our queer friends don’t buy it. How can I support my friend?

September 17, 2019
I’m dating a woman in a polyamorous relationship and I feel like her last priority. Am I better off alone?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I’m dating a woman in a polyamorous relationship and I feel like her last priority. Am I better off alone?

September 3, 2019
So-called accountability processes are tearing my community apart. What can I do?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

So-called accountability processes are tearing my community apart. What can I do?

August 20, 2019
Why are queer people so mean to each other?
Analysis

Why are queer people so mean to each other?

How brain science explains queer trauma, conflict and call-out culture

August 16, 2019
My wife and I own a small business but I do all the work. How do I keep holding on?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

My wife and I own a small business but I do all the work. How do I keep holding on?

August 6, 2019
Advertisement

I want to explore polyamory but I live in a small community. What happens if word gets out?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I want to explore polyamory but I live in a small community. What happens if word gets out?

July 23, 2019
My friends dumped me because of my stance against police. Do I try to fix this?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

My friends dumped me because of my stance against police. Do I try to fix this?

July 9, 2019
The guy I’m dating is really into trans women. Is it love — or a fetish?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

The guy I’m dating is really into trans women. Is it love — or a fetish?

June 25, 2019
The world is burning. Should I bring a baby into it?
Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

The world is burning. Should I bring a baby into it?

June 11, 2019
Melting the ice around #MeToo stories in the queer community
Power

Melting the ice around #MeToo stories in the queer community

Queer community doesn’t lack for discourse around sexual abuse. Yet for all of our talk, not much seems to have significantly changed—there are still victims, and there are still abusers.

February 26, 2019
What I learned, loved and lost as a trans Zumba addict
Power

What I learned, loved and lost as a trans Zumba addict

Finding a physical activity that I loved came at the cost of putting up with countless small acts of hostility

June 12, 2018
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