Am I being too picky in my disdain for online dating?

Kai counsels a discerning demisexual on making virtual romantic connections in a pandemic era

By Kai Cheng Thom

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

My partner and I have loud fights that a friend of mine thinks might be abusive. Is she right? Is yelling the same as abuse?

Kai on the difference between conflict and abuse—and the value of healthy anger

By Kai Cheng Thom

Sex

How to sext safely

A guide to protecting your privacy while getting intimate online

By Noelle Perdue

Love Like Mine

The ongoing struggle for racial justice forced me to drop my racist ex

Part of being an ally is knowing when to leave a toxic situation

By Omar Taleb

Ask Kai: Quickies

I’m a lesbian and not into relationships. Is it harsh to tell someone I’m just interested in sex?

Kai on how to talk about hookups

By Xtra Video

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I’m friends with my ex, but I still have feelings for them. How can I move on?

Kai Cheng Thom offers rituals to heal our grieving hearts and release our unrequited loves

By Kai Cheng Thom

Culture

4 queer and trans happenings to wind you up or down this week

What to watch, read, listen to or look at beginning Jan. 7

By Sarah Taher

Sex

The year in sex

6 developments that showed we were hot and bothered—or is that bothered and hot?—in 2020

By Ziya Jones

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

People never seem to need me as much as I do them. Am I an emotional vampire?

Kai suggests ways an isolated gay man can live out his stories of need and pain

By Kai Cheng Thom

Love Like Mine

‘Sweeter than fiction:’ How Taylor Swift led me to my boyfriend

I knew I wanted to explore every facet of love that I could—the kinds that Taylor Swift sings about

By Brandon Trush

Books

‘What will you do if your kids grow up to be straight?’

In her new memoir, author Jane Byers jostles with the realities of queer parenting while adopting her twins

By Jane Byers

TV & Film

‘Happiest Season’ is the cheesy Christmas movie we deserve

A coming-out story and a holiday rom-com formula shouldn’t work together—but they do

By Erica Lenti

Ask an Expert

New to fisting? Here’s our handy guide

Nurse practitioner Miles Harris answers every question—and we mean EVERY question—you might have about fisting

By Andy Bandyopadhyay

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I told my boyfriend he can’t watch porn. Am I too controlling?

Kai Cheng Thom responds to an online sex worker struggling to set relationship boundaries

By Kai Cheng Thom

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

I live alone, I’m single and I’m starved for physical touch. How can I be intimate with others right now and still stay safe?

By Kai Cheng Thom

Politics

This gay couple rushed to marry before a possible Trump re-election

Living in the swing state of Pennsylvania, Jonathon Wonders and Jason Melcher tied the knot ahead of election results

By Lauren Rowello

Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse

My boyfriend enjoys his job as an online sex worker, but I’m worried about his safety. Is my anxiety justified?

By Kai Cheng Thom

Sex

How to go to your first sex party

Whether virtual or IRL, here are the steps to get you in the mood and in the door

By Andy Bandyopadhyay