Count Cockula

Do vampires give the best blowjobs?

I’ve been doing Picks of the Week for an entire year now, and there’s one question that I’ve always been afraid to investigate until now. Do vampires give the best blowjobs? I thought I would never find out.

Enter Fleshjack, maker of the Fleshlight.

It has come out with Count Cockula, a beer can with a vampire mouth made of fleshy silicone on one end that you can stick your penis into. The fangs may not be real, but if I close my eyes and really imagine, I’m sure it will feel like Robert Pattinson is going down on me.

Happy one year anniversary to me.

Read More About:
Culture, Europe, Vancouver, Arts

Keep Reading

Summer 2025 is all about the moustache

OPINION: But never forget that a silly little moustache will always be a little bit gay
Cynthia Nixon as Miranda Hobbes in And Just Like That... Nixon has short red hair and wears green; she is facing someone else across a bar table

Where is Cynthia Nixon in the evolution of Miranda Hobbes?

OPINION: There should be butches in the “And Just Like That …” universe
A pink background with two pairs of people from the nose down in black and white.

Life after twink death is trans joy 

ANALYSIS: Twinks don’t have to die—they can transition

In defence of ‘The Ultimatum: Queer Love’ and its straight host

OPINION: Netflix’s “The Ultimatum: Queer Love” just wrapped another mess-heavy season. Host JoAnna Garcia Swisher may be the key to the future of queer reality TV