Count Cockula

Do vampires give the best blowjobs?

I’ve been doing Picks of the Week for an entire year now, and there’s one question that I’ve always been afraid to investigate until now. Do vampires give the best blowjobs? I thought I would never find out.

Enter Fleshjack, maker of the Fleshlight.

It has come out with Count Cockula, a beer can with a vampire mouth made of fleshy silicone on one end that you can stick your penis into. The fangs may not be real, but if I close my eyes and really imagine, I’m sure it will feel like Robert Pattinson is going down on me.

Happy one year anniversary to me.

Read More About:
Culture, Europe, Vancouver, Arts

Keep Reading

Frank Ocean

Frank Ocean soundtracked my two earliest—and most devastating—romances

“Blonde” and “channel ORANGE” both came out during pivotal moments in my queer awakening. A decade later, how can I listen to them without breaking my heart? 
The cast of Canada's Drag Race All Stars

‘Canada’s Drag Race All Stars’ finale recap: The first Canadian ‘All Stars’ champion is …

A Lip Sync Smackdown for the Crown delivers goops and gags before crowning one queen
Annie Jacobson (Ella Rubin), Maple (Mabel Strachan), Oona (Bo Bragason) and Ramona (Amélie Hoeferle) shout in a scene in Sterling Point.

Even in the idyllic queer world of ‘Sterling Point,’ whiteness is front and centre

The Muskoka-set series glosses over the racism of Canada’s cottage country
Cover of the book "Unsafe"

‘Unsafe’ challenges us to handle anti-trans backlash differently

S. Lamble’s debut argues that punishment makes anti-trans activists double down on their hate
Advertisement