Count Cockula

Do vampires give the best blowjobs?

I’ve been doing Picks of the Week for an entire year now, and there’s one question that I’ve always been afraid to investigate until now. Do vampires give the best blowjobs? I thought I would never find out.

Enter Fleshjack, maker of the Fleshlight.

It has come out with Count Cockula, a beer can with a vampire mouth made of fleshy silicone on one end that you can stick your penis into. The fangs may not be real, but if I close my eyes and really imagine, I’m sure it will feel like Robert Pattinson is going down on me.

Happy one year anniversary to me.

Read More About:
Culture, Vancouver, Arts, Europe

Keep Reading

A flaming torch

‘Survivor’ helped me climb a volcano

Instead of training for a gruelling day-long hike, I listened to podcasts about my favourite TV show. It paid off
Michaela Coel and Anne Hathaway

‘Mother Mary’ nails how devastating a first lesbian breakup can be

In A24’s new pop star drama, Anne Hathaway captures the physicality of a tormented ex-lover aching for answers—and deliverance
The cover of Afternoon Hours of a Hermit; Patrick Cottrell

In ‘Afternoon Hours of a Hermit,’ Patrick Cottrell writes a protagonist who does everything wrong—again

The pseudo-sequel to Cottrell’s acclaimed first novel brilliantly retraces old ground
Myki Meeks with an up arrow behind her; Darlene Mitchell with a down arrow behind her

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 18, Episode 16 power ranking: Three of hearts

We take one last look back at our final three queens’ journeys
Advertisement