Cock cross creates Catholic conniptions

Holiday gift idea: Tom Ford has designed some tasteful phallic jewellery

If you’re looking for that last-minute holiday gift, a Tom Ford–designed penis pendant might be just what you’re looking for.

It’s definitely a conversation starter, especially for those inquisitive Catholic relatives.

Fashion designer Ford’s pendant has some religious groups proselytizing against his tasteful, phallic jewellery, Pink News reports. “When we learned of this item, I said to the staff that I bet this guy Tom Ford is a homosexual,” says Bill Donohue of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights. “I was right. He even thinks he’s married.”

The Catholic-angering necklace, which comes in small, medium and large penis sizes in either silver or gold, is going for $790 on Ford’s website.

While a cross-shaped dick necklace may seem like some good-old-fashioned Catholic outrage-bait, Esquire thinks that “Ford’s cross is more likely to be an allusion to the phallic fascinus charms ancient Romans wore than merely a dick joke. Sure, it’s still a dick joke in that case, but one played for eggheads instead of goofballs.”

Remember, as the saying goes, diamonds are forever, but penis jewellery is only as good as its hardness.

Michael Lyons is a queer-identified, chaotic neutral writer, activist, misanthrope, sapiosexual, and feline enthusiast. He is a columnist, blogger and regular contributor with Xtra and has contributed to Plenitude Magazine, KAPSULA Magazine, Crew Magazine, Memory Insufficient e-zine, The Ryersonian, Buddies Theatre blog, Toronto Is Awesome blog and Fab Magazine and more.

Keep Reading

Desire, love triangles and bad gays are at the centre of Hanna Johansson’s ‘Antiquity’

Xtra speaks with the Swedish author about her newly translated novel

‘Drive-Away Dolls’ is a sex-positive lesbian romp

REVIEW: Ethan Coen and Tricia Cooke have crafted the next great lesbian road trip movie

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 16, Episode 7 power ranking: A new frontrunner emerges

A surprising queen takes her second win of the season earlier than expected

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 16, Episode 7 recap: The heels are alive

It’s time for Season 16’s take on the Rusical!