Cock cross creates Catholic conniptions

Holiday gift idea: Tom Ford has designed some tasteful phallic jewellery

If you’re looking for that last-minute holiday gift, a Tom Ford–designed penis pendant might be just what you’re looking for.

It’s definitely a conversation starter, especially for those inquisitive Catholic relatives.

Fashion designer Ford’s pendant has some religious groups proselytizing against his tasteful, phallic jewellery, Pink News reports. “When we learned of this item, I said to the staff that I bet this guy Tom Ford is a homosexual,” says Bill Donohue of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights. “I was right. He even thinks he’s married.”

The Catholic-angering necklace, which comes in small, medium and large penis sizes in either silver or gold, is going for $790 on Ford’s website.

While a cross-shaped dick necklace may seem like some good-old-fashioned Catholic outrage-bait, Esquire thinks that “Ford’s cross is more likely to be an allusion to the phallic fascinus charms ancient Romans wore than merely a dick joke. Sure, it’s still a dick joke in that case, but one played for eggheads instead of goofballs.”

Remember, as the saying goes, diamonds are forever, but penis jewellery is only as good as its hardness.

Michael Lyons is a queer-identified, chaotic neutral writer, activist, misanthrope, sapiosexual, and feline enthusiast. He is a columnist, blogger and regular contributor with Xtra and has contributed to Plenitude Magazine, KAPSULA Magazine, Crew Magazine, Memory Insufficient e-zine, The Ryersonian, Buddies Theatre blog, Toronto Is Awesome blog and Fab Magazine and more.

Keep Reading

A still image of Anne, played by Amybeth McNulty, in braids and a coat, looking at another child in Anne with an E.

Why the adaptation ‘Anne with an E’ speaks to queers and misfits of all kinds

The modern interpretation of Anne of Green Gables reflected queer and gender-diverse people’s lives back at them 
Karla Sofía Gascón as Emilia Perez in Emilia Perez. Gascón wears black with colourful embroidery, has long hair, and a brown purse and delicate chain.

Trans cartel musical ‘Emilia Pérez’ takes maximalist aesthetic to the extreme

REVIEW: The film’s existence raises intriguing questions about appropriate subjects for the playful machinations of French auteurs
Dorothy Allison sits behind a microphone. She has long, light-coloured hair and wears glasses and a patterned button-up shirt.

5 things to know about Dorothy Allison

The lesbian feminist writer passed on Nov. 6

‘Solemates’ is a barefoot stroll through the history of our fetish for feet

Queer historian Adam Zmith’s newest book allows us to dip our toes into the past of a common, yet stigmatized, kink