Someone close to me has a saying that’s always rung true: “Dick pics are like vacation pics: I don’t care unless I’ve been there.”
Maybe the reason he and I don’t care to gawk at yet another picture of a cock is because they haven’t been given the expert treatment. With Xtra’s meat issue currently in newsboxes, I thought it might be a good time to introduce you to a true meat connoisseur that will help turn your dick pics into works of art.
“critiquing your dick pics with love” is a tumblr blog where the user gives an in-depth analysis of the dick pics volunteered, “with love,” as the first post explains: “i’m never going to shame you about the size of your dick or what it looks like; i’m not about that life. i will, however, be ruthlessly honest when it comes to things like angles, lighting & general tone. i’m trying to help you improve, because in all likelihood your dick pics are artless & dull.”
What a saint!
Also notable is that it’s not only the dick pics of cisgender guys that are critiqued. One photo titled “Femme cock, strapless glamour edition” is, assumedly, a cisgender woman with a sleek purple dildo. The critic appreciates the fashion and confidence but has some constructive criticism: “however, i feel like there is so much going on in this shot — a disparate collection of colours, textures & fabrics, and no real focal point — that it’s lost some of it’s potential impact.”
That user got a B+. How do you think your penis pics measure up?
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