Bear-on-bear action

Depending on the context, getting a blowjob from a big, fuzzy bear can mean very different things.

Science blog io9 notes that while researchers have observed captive bears engaging in oral sex in the past, this was previously credited to behaviour that came from poor living conditions.

However, earlier in June, a team of European zoologists observed a same-sex pair of male brown bears engaging in bouts of fellatio, and these two were living under proper conditions in a conservation in Croatia.

“In solitary species, such behaviors are more enigmatic, and possibly indicative of something abnormal,” the abstract of the research, published in Zoo Biology, reads. “Here, we report on a case of two male brown bears, raised in captivity since being orphaned as cubs, which engaged in recurrent fellatio multiple times per day until at least 10 years old.”

The abstract goes on: “The roles of provider and receiver in the act remained unchanged, and the behavior itself became highly ritualized. The provider always initiated the contact involving vigorous penile sucking that appeared to result in ejaculation. We suggest that the behavior began as a result of early deprivation of maternal suckling, and persisted through life, possibly because it remained satisfying for both individuals. This constitutes the first descriptive report of fellatio in bears, and suggests that some bears may suffer lifelong behavioral consequences from being orphaned at an early age.”

That may not be the kind of content someone wants when they search for some hot bear-on-bear action, but, hilariously, Agnieszka Sergiel, of the Polish Academy of Sciences Department of Wildlife Conservation, notes, “In the case reported here, the provider may have found a substitute for teatsucking that also resulted in a letdown of substitute ‘milk.’”

Calling it a “letdown” seems a bit presumptive . . . did they even bother asking the receiving bear for a comment?