It’s Jesus, bitch!

And it may be the best thing to happen to musical theatre . . . ever.

It’s a Britney Spears musical (they won me over with that alone), but wait — your high school guidance counsellor wasn’t lying — it gets better: Spears: The Gospel According to Britney tells the story of Jesus Christ’s life through Britney’s greatest hits, including “(You Drive Me) Crazy”, “Baby One More Time” and “Stronger.”

No dialogue will be spoken, so it’ll just be Brit Brit’s songs to tell the tale of Jesus’s birth, life, death and resurrection.

“These are Britney’s lyrics. These are Jesus Christ’s images. The Britney Spears you see is not Britney Spears. Remember that. The Jesus Christ you read is not Jesus Christ. These are manifestations. Accounts through the media, through the words of followers, of friends, of foes, of villains, of heroes, of liars, of biases,” says the musical’s creator, Pat Blute. “It’s a falsehood that people believe fame and fortune create happiness. That all ‘deaths’ receive a resurrection. I hope this project will show you otherwise through the power of listening and the power of forgiveness.”

The show previews on Nov 7 at New York City’s Foxwoods Theatre.

No word yet if the body and blood of Christ will be Cheetos and Red Bull . . .

All I know is, I still believe!