News from Bizarro World!

Sure, everyone’s anxious over the economy these past couple weeks but there are days like today when you just feel like the world’s spun off its axis:

— police in Texas have made an arrest for the possession of child pornography. They arrested a 13-year-old boy.

— the government of India refuses to decriminalize gay sex because, says a spokesperson, “We cannot compel our society to follow the trend of Western society.” Except for outsourced call centres, of course!

Michael Jackson takes his kids out to the comic store like any normal dad. Sort of.

— while scientists debate whether circumcision is a necessary defense against HIV, one enterprising company has developed a bizarre back-up plan.

— I used to have trouble in geography class remembering which country was Iceland and which one was Greenland. Now it’s easy: Greenland is melting and Iceland is bankrupt!

— my guidance counselor was so wrong: the newly promoted VP of casting at a Hollywood production company got his start performing in gay porn. The other candidates would only kiss ass.

— John McCain and Sarah Palin keep insisting that Barack Obama is “pals with terrorists” and the crowds are eating it up with a spoon:

I may never sleep again. Time to run off and dig up some happy news — have a great weekend!

A former editor of the late, lamented fab magazine, Scott has been writing for Xtra since 2007 on a variety of topics in news pieces, interviews, blogs, reviews and humour pieces. He lives on the Danforth with his boyfriend of 12 years, a manic Jack Russell Terrier, a well-stocked mini-bar and a shelf of toy Daleks.

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