Recently, I was chatting with a friend about her (hetero) relationship. She was giving me the laundry list of all the things she despised about the relationship and told me they hadn’t had sex in months. I asked her why she didn’t just break up and find someone else; she said it was easier to stay. Another acquaintance was in a (homo) relationship, though I didn’t know it at first. He would flirt and talk dirty to me and those general sorts of things. When I found out he was in a relationship I asked him how his boyfriend would feel about it. He said he had to get his fun somewhere and it’s just something they didn’t talk about.
Those are two examples (of many instances in my life) that helped me decide monogamy’s not for me. I’m not saying monogamous relationships are all doom and gloom, but when I looked at relationships around me I saw complete lack of respect, honesty and communication, resignation to sexlessness, a habit of clinging to something that just doesn’t work. No thank you.
My thoughts on the subject are summed up perfectly by Vice writer Gabe Gilker in an excellent article/interview with Canadian polyamory advocate and author Zoe Duff:
“I can’t tell whether it’s because I always develop a wandering eye after a few months, or if I just start to feel suffocated and trapped like a tiger in a cage, but monogamy always gives me that same old feeling of jamming a puzzle piece into the wrong place.”
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