Deep Inside

This month I was faced with the dilemma of reviewing either Falcon Studios’ newest release, Deep Inside, Part 2, or its equally subtly titled prequel, Deep Inside, Part 1.

Then I realized that not only should I watch all four hours of fit guys being “all gay” with other fit guys, I probably would have done it anyway. Let’s be honest: I’ve got the time, the bandwidth and the inclination.

The first part of what I hope will become a trilogy begins with Paddy O’Brian and Angelo Marconi making out in a granite mosaic shower that would make Steven and Chris cream their pre-creamed designer denim. The shower foreplay leads to an adjacent veranda where Marconi blows O’Brian on one knee, in a move that I’ve lately taken to calling “Teblowing,” after football quarterback Tim Tebow, who thanks god each time he scores.

These two guys get down in a serious way. Marconi seems hell-bent on deep-throating O’Brian, though O’Brian is no one to snicker at. Marconi eventually succeeds where others have, no doubt, failed.

Then suddenly O’Brian is fucking Marconi against a wooden railing as hard as two humans can do that to a railing. Both are right into it and vocal at the same time. O’Brian is a grunter and curser, while Marconi is more celebratory. “Oh yeah, oh yeah, fuck yeah.”

Director Steve Cruz makes an already appealing scene better by shooting it against the setting autumn sun. Despite the vigorous action in the foreground, I kept noticing the beautiful backdrop.

The pair relocate a second time, now to a coolly lit bedroom with giant green pillows, where they continue as before. O’Brian’s fucking intensifies with more kissing and eye contact. Suddenly O’Brian jumps up and positions himself so that he blows it in Marconi’s eager face. Marconi calls for it.

There is no moment of romance to finalize the scene, no pretext to deny this was just two big, sexy guys getting all up on each other. By the time O’Brian reciprocates the favour, I am exhausted. I’m spent. I’m so done, I think I might never go again. Deep Inside tired me out.

I suppose I’ll save the sequel until my strength returns.