PICK OF THE WEEK: The Lair

Toothless blood suckers

If — as HereTV founder Paul Colichman says on the gay cable station’s website — the gay vampire serial The Lair was intended to “reclaim the horror genre for gay audiences,” it might have been helpful if the writers, director, or anyone involved with the show had ever watched a horror movie before making it.

Actually, anyone who’s seen Interview with the Vampire or Buffy knows that the reclaiming-the-horror-genre -for-gay-audiences ship has already sailed and had gay sex at every port.

What’s more, where gay vampires should be sexy, dangerous, and at least a little fabulous, The Lair instead gives us bland vampires whose greatest ambition appears to be running an underground sex club where guys wearing leather straps have softcore orgies.

Yawn.

Is leather really the freakiest thing the writers could come up with?

The Lair’s plot centres around gay journalist David Moretti as he looks into a string of strange gay murders and is tipped off about a gay club called — you guessed it — The Lair, that might have been connected to the case. There, he finds a lot of soft-core sex, but nothing interesting, until head vampire Peter Stickles mistakenly takes Moretti to be the reincarnation of the vampire who created him.

Why do the vampires run a gay sex club? Boredom? To lure in victims? Isn’t that a bit obvious? And wouldn’t it be more appropriate — and make more sense — for their victims to be straight men?

How many vampires are there? What else do they do? How often do they kill? Why should I care? Since the vampires never appear to actually do anything, the stakes are incredibly low.

I’ll be charitable with the poor cinematography and softcore-level dialogue, but in order for this show to work, it really needs to either be a lot more camp or a lot more scary.

Preferably both.

Rob Salerno is a playwright and journalist whose writing has appeared in such publications as Vice, Advocate, NOW and OutTraveler.

Read More About:
Culture, Books, Vancouver, Arts, Media

Keep Reading

Mike Faist, Zendaya and Josh O'Connor sit on a motel bed in a still from Challengers.

‘Challengers’ is the bisexual film of the year 

REVIEW: The tennis threesome drama with Zendaya at the centre is a celebration of sexiness and sport

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 16, Episode 16 power ranking: An iconic final three

Only one can win, but all three fought hard to make their case for the crown

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 16 finale recap: I hear it and I know

America’s Next Drag Superstar XVI is crowned!

Queer films to watch out for this spring and summer

From a theatre troupe in a maximum-security prison to hot bisexuals sweating it out on the tennis court, spring and summer have plenty of queer cinematic fare to offer