Does being curious about ‘butt stuff’ make me gay?

Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe the real question is, “Why does that matter?”

“Anal play has a really deep and, in some ways, treacherous history. And where I’m coming from today is wanting to be positive toward people of all gender expressions and identities and also particularly toward anal play and not shaming or stigmatizing sex,” says Xtra advice columnist Kai Cheng Thom. “If we take a broad scope of definitions of what is queer and we don’t think that it’s bad or wrong to be queer, then I would just question, ‘Why is butt stuff making us gay even a concern?’”

It’s our latest in the video series “Ask Kai: Quick Tips for the Apocalypse,” offering relationship advice for those in a hurry.

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