In a new development, the spirit of Catherine Idalette Johnson, the mother of reviled Westboro Baptist Church leader Fred Phelps, is now officially gay.
A Vice article with the eye catching headline, “Satanists Turned the Founder of the Westboro Baptist Church’s Dead Mom Gay,” explains that the Pink Mass was performed twice over the grave of Johnson, once with two men and again with two women, which dogmatically turns the spirit of Fred Phelps’ mother into a lesbian. Vice points out that the process is not unlike the Mormon practice of post-humously baptizing the dead into their church.
Temple leader and the performer of the ritual, Lucien Greaves, explains that the idea came about when the WBC announced their intention to picket the Boston bombings victims. Graves vows to continue gay-ing up the spirits of Phelps’ family until the church stops their hateful proselytizing: “We haven’t gayed Fred’s father yet, or his great-aunt, Irene Jordan, who raised him after his mother died. We will perform Pink Masses for each of them, and more descendants of the Phelps, each time they picket funerals or applaud horrific terrorist actions, as they are known to do. Fred himself is getting pretty long in the tooth, and I hope to be presiding over his Pink Mass before long.”
The Satanic Temple explains on their website, “To embrace the name ‘Satan’ is to avow skepticism in the face of all things, even — especially — that which is held sacred. To stand forth as a ‘Satanist’ is to rend from the persecutory, affrighted mob a convenient out-group label, demanding that individuals be judged for their concrete actions, not their fealty to arbitrary social norms and illusory categorizations.”
I think I can say they’ve got a new convert in me, at least in gay-spirit.
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