Eight rules for graceful declines

1) Politeness reigns supreme on both sides. Sarcasm, insults and raised voices are not cool

2) No really does mean no. Don’t make someone be rude to you

3) If you’re cruising the phones or the web and your messages aren’t answered — that’s your answer

4) When you’re cruising someone in person keep your hands to yourself unless you’ve been given a signal — in words or body language — that it’s okay

5) If someone wants reasons for you rejecting them, you’re entitled to tell them — you’re also entitled to brush off the question

6) If you want to know why you’ve been rejected, be prepared to hear it. Not every answer is going to be tactful or constructive

7) Once a rejection has taken place, both sides need to move on immediately; avoid dwelling on it

8) If he’s just not into you, you probably don’t want him anyway.

Keep Reading

An illustration of two people with pink hair

I came out to my dad to protect my queer sibling

As kids, my sibling took heat because I was sporty and they were nerdy. When we grew up, I did everything I could to keep them safe
The Grindr logo in yellow against a black background; both with an ombré effect

‘Unusable’: The enshittification of Grindr

How pop-up ads, paywalled features and boardroom decisions degraded the quality of one of the world’s most popular dating apps
Illustration of a person holding a butterfly on their fingertip, turning toward a group of butterflies and away from silhouettes of people in their hair

Society told me to hate my body. I choose to embrace it instead

As I prepare for bottom surgery, I’m returning to the people who have stood by me from the beginning—and myself
Illustration of two people watching a movie. The screen shows a close-up of a kiss. One person looks at the other uncomfortably; the other faces the screen.

When I realized I was ace, I thought love wasn’t in the stars. I was so wrong

Romantic feelings come much later. First, I must fall in love platonically
Advertisement