You’re a wizard, ‘arry!

The truth is, I kind of like all the gay controversy. Like when the pope tells the world that homosexuality is a threat to the future of humanity, I can’t help but get a little excited. Doesn’t that make homosexuality sound wonderfully dramatic? I quite like the thought that our glitter is contagious and we’re taking over the world, one sparkle at a time. Change is the only constant in life, and if you’re too scared or stupid to accept that, then you are going to get lost or left behind.

Ideally, all human beings would be in support of gay rights because gay rights are human rights, and shouldn’t all humans be down for that? But the truth is, if everyone was totally on board with this whole equality thing and there was nothing but peace, love and unity, I’d probably get a little bored.

Life is sort of like a Harry Potter book. There’s good versus evil, and you keep turning the page because you want to see who’s going to win. And even though deep in your heart you know that good is going to prevail because it always does, the journey along the way, and all of its ups and downs, is what makes the book interesting.

My point is that I’m a big drama queen, and a part of me lives for setting dumb bitches straight. Or, well, gay.

I can’t help but get a sick thrill from this anti-marriage, pro-Romney/Ryan 2012 advertisement courtesy of the Campaign for American Values. What can I say? It’s the automaton performances of the actors combined with the fear-mongering dialogue, accentuated by dramatic music that goes from slow and gloomy (perfect background music while talking about *shivers* gay people) to become more chipper (literally, birds are chirping), followed by the song’s upbeat climax. If this is the music representing the rightwing, I don’t think I’ll be partying with them anytime soon.

Personally, I think they should’ve gone for a more suspenseful score. They’re already acting like gay marriage is the biggest horror since Jaws. “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water pick up the newspaper . . .”

Da-na-da-na-da-na . . .

Keep Reading

Stars

Halsey’s ‘Badlands’ soundtracked the rise and fall of my oldest friendship

The pop star’s first album let us escape from the suburbs. After a falling out, it brought us back together
Nini Coco with an up arrow behind her; Darlene Mitchell with a down arrow behind her

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 18, Episode 8 power ranking: Papal defiance

One of the most blatant robberies in recent memory happens in the Snatch Game of Love Island
Discord Addams

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 18, Episode 8 recap: I came here for Snatch

A “Love Island” take on Snatch Game of Love freshens up the game, and gets great results
Myki Meeks with an up arrow behind her; Juicy Love Dion with a down arrow behind her

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 18, Episode 7 power ranking: Revenge of the Meeks

Frontrunners suddenly find themselves in jeopardy, while an underdog scores her first win