You’re a wizard, ‘arry!

The truth is, I kind of like all the gay controversy. Like when the pope tells the world that homosexuality is a threat to the future of humanity, I can’t help but get a little excited. Doesn’t that make homosexuality sound wonderfully dramatic? I quite like the thought that our glitter is contagious and we’re taking over the world, one sparkle at a time. Change is the only constant in life, and if you’re too scared or stupid to accept that, then you are going to get lost or left behind.

Ideally, all human beings would be in support of gay rights because gay rights are human rights, and shouldn’t all humans be down for that? But the truth is, if everyone was totally on board with this whole equality thing and there was nothing but peace, love and unity, I’d probably get a little bored.

Life is sort of like a Harry Potter book. There’s good versus evil, and you keep turning the page because you want to see who’s going to win. And even though deep in your heart you know that good is going to prevail because it always does, the journey along the way, and all of its ups and downs, is what makes the book interesting.

My point is that I’m a big drama queen, and a part of me lives for setting dumb bitches straight. Or, well, gay.

I can’t help but get a sick thrill from this anti-marriage, pro-Romney/Ryan 2012 advertisement courtesy of the Campaign for American Values. What can I say? It’s the automaton performances of the actors combined with the fear-mongering dialogue, accentuated by dramatic music that goes from slow and gloomy (perfect background music while talking about *shivers* gay people) to become more chipper (literally, birds are chirping), followed by the song’s upbeat climax. If this is the music representing the rightwing, I don’t think I’ll be partying with them anytime soon.

Personally, I think they should’ve gone for a more suspenseful score. They’re already acting like gay marriage is the biggest horror since Jaws. “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water pick up the newspaper . . .”

Da-na-da-na-da-na . . .

Keep Reading

Makayla Couture, Juice Boxx, Aurora Matrix

‘Canada’s Drag Race All Stars’ Episode 3 recap: Reset to the mean

After starting the season with a bang—or two—this episode gets back to business as usual

Elliot Page is great in ‘The Odyssey.’ Let’s talk about that

Despite online controversy, director Christopher Nolan casting him is not a “woke” psy-op. It’s just the right actor for the right role
Carole Pope

Carole Pope wants Chappell Roan to know who she is

“Antidiva” solidifies the Canadian rock star’s legendary status—from her iconic crotch-grab to her contemporary impact
Crystal Methyd

What is ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars’ afraid of?

“All Stars 11” claimed to cede control to the queens, but seemed terrified of putting its frontrunner in any danger
Advertisement