The dangers of last-minute shopping

So let’s say, hypothetically speaking, you put off all your Christmas shopping until, oh, I don’t know . . . today. As in, less than two days before Christmas.

Now for some reason, Air Jordans are still a thing. I know — I didn’t think shoes endorsed by a former basketball player who hasn’t been on the court in years are still big gets during the holidays, but here we are. Anyway, let’s say you find a store that’s selling the shoes. Here’s the moral quandary: do you trample a little girl to get some shoes?

If you answered anything other than “HELL FUCKING NO,” don’t feel too bad, because it turns out an entire group of people will happily trample little girls in exchange for shoes. Yay, crass commercialism. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

Keep Reading

The protagonists of Blood Lines embracing

The big twist in ‘Blood Lines’ is more than shocking

Gail Maurice’s queer Métis romance takes a massive risk—letting it dig deep into the pain and loss perpetuated by colonial structures
A still from Girls Like Girls

‘Girls Like Girls’ once meant everything to me. I’ve outgrown it

Hayley Kiyoko’s new movie tries to recapture the magic of the mid-2010s music video it’s based on. But time has dulled its revolutionary edge
John Early in Maddie's Secret holding two jars above an open box

‘Maddie’s Secret’ is the movie about eating disorders we need

John Early’s pastiche of after-school specials mixes belly laughs with gut punches. It’s a rare masterwork
Van Goth

Van Goth made ‘Canada’s Drag Race’ look easy. But victory has a price

The drag phenom’s run complicated our idea of what a reality TV villain could be. She tells Xtra about clawing her way to the top—and her fight for what comes next
Advertisement