Happy New Year, RuPaul’s Drag Race fans! Should old grievances about seasons past be forgot, and never brought to mind? Why not? After all, 2020 was a very good year for the franchise, so we’re walking into Season 13’s shiny, updated workroom feeling positive. Hope is in the air and any lingering issues with our beloved reality competition show (production favouritism, repetitive challenges, the exclusion of trans contestants) shall ideally be left in the past.
On at least one of those notes, we’ve already got good news: Season 13 features Gottmik, the first transmasculine queen in the series’ herstory. The Los Angeles-based makeup artist joins 12 other queens in a premiere designed to shake things up. Instead of revealing the contestants all at once, they are introduced in pairs and, in one case, a trio, before they’re summoned to the main stage by a RuMail message. Once there, they meet the judges. Michelle Visage, Ross Mathews and Carson Kressley have all returned to the table, though they’re now separated by partitions in a nod to COVID-19 safety procedures.
The judges interview the queens and ask them to explain their entrance look. We’ve never seen judging of entrance looks before, so this is a very welcome development. But the Q&A only lasts so long before Ru throws one of the biggest premiere curveballs ever: “Two queens stand before me…”
Yes, each queen must begin with a Lip Sync for Your Life alongside their entrance partner, to a song they were told to prepare in advance. (I have some logistical questions about this, since all the queens are shocked to learn about the sudden LSFYL. Were they all told to prepare a different song for the first episode’s lip sync?) One queen shantays (did you know that means stay?) while another gets what the show calls “The Porkchop.” Is The Porkchop—a reference to the first-ever eliminated queen of Drag Race—really a first-episode elimination? Would Drag Race truly leave us with just a six-queen cast right out the gate? To viewers, it’s an obvious no. But for the queens—who filmed this season just after TV production resumed following the initial pandemic lockdown—this is just crazy and disorienting enough to be a possibility.
I’m obsessed with this twist. It has the spectacular effect of immediately putting the dolls on the back foot. It gives us a Ru “Cover Girl” walk down the main stage not even five minutes into the episode, and a lip sync before the opening credits. It shows us who these queens are as performers right away, and almost all of them rise to the occasion. It makes this premiere move fast. I realized as the final trio came out how sad I was the episode was almost over.
I’ll have lots more thoughts on the individual queens in the first Power Ranking of the season, but let’s go through the various lip sync battles:
Kandy Muse vs. Joey Jay
The self-titled Dominican Doll of New York makes the most out of being the first in the workroom, while Phoenix-based Joey charms most in her confessionals. They’re both funny, but Kandy immediately radiates star power, while Joey unfortunately sheds chicken feathers from her entrance look. They lip-sync to Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe,” which I initially thought would be RuPaul’s “Call Me Mother.” And this elicited a gasp when it became clear we’re getting non-Ru songs for this lip sync extravaganza. Kandy goes for precise lyrical interpretation, turning the song on and off on her fake boom box prop, while Joey goes for bigger, graceful moves. It’s Kandy who wins, but this is a strong battle—and a terrific start.
There’s not a lot of allowance in Ru’s farewell to Joey: He says she’ll always be Drag Race royalty, and tells her to sashay away. No “I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of you yet,” none of it. If I’m Joey, I’m thinking this is the end of the road.
Denali vs. LaLa Ri
Denali has the most memorable entrance look, wearing ice skates and a giant braid. LaLa’s bodysuit-and-blazer ensemble is comparatively simple, although I like the mask. They face off to The Pussycat Dolls’ “When I Grow Up,” and despite some flashy moves from Denali, including a cartwheel in her ice skates (no one is harmed), LaLa wins. This is the closest battle of the day and either would’ve been a deserving winner. But LaLa’s confidence makes her a compelling pick. Denali, sadly, sashays away.
And here’s the gag: Joey is still on set, in something called the Porkchop Loading Dock. Photos of first-eliminated queens surround them. Joey and Denali are both confused, especially after the next queen joins them, but Denali has a feeling their journey isn’t over just yet.
Symone vs. Tamisha Iman
This is a battle of the ages—literally, as up-and-coming Symone faces off against 30-year drag veteran Tamisha, who has survived colon cancer. Symone clearly has a lot of respect for her, as does the judging panel. Their battle to “The Pleasure Principle” is a study of different lip sync approaches: Tamisha relies on Janet Jackson’s dance moves, while Symone goes for a more face-heavy interpretation. The latter is more original, and Ru gives Symone the win. Tamisha doesn’t buy Denali’s hope for their chances, presuming their fates are sealed. “The lady said go home,” she says in her confessional.
Gottmik vs. Utica Queen
The makeup artist is a charmer, as Gottmik introduces herself and her résumé in her confessional. She also loses a shoe walking around the workroom, which is adorable. Utica is quirkiness incarnate, although she’s so consistently wacky (in the workroom, in confessionals, with the judges) that I have to assume it’s her true personality, and not a BenDeLaCreme-esque character. They lip sync to Lindsay Lohan’s “Rumors,” which gets a full gay shriek out of me, but don’t quite do the song justice. Gottmik’s a decent performer, but it’s clear her strengths lie elsewhere, while Utica misses whole swaths of lyrics. It’s a win for Gottmik, and Utica is sent to the dock.
Rosé vs. Olivia Lux
Our first battle of queens who know each other, Rosé is the seasoned professional (she’s been on The Voice and America’s Got Talent!) to Olivia’s fresh-faced upstart. Rosé, a bandmate of Season 12 queen Jan’s, says Olivia needs more experience before coming on the show. This, of course, is a recipe for an upset, as Olivia beats Rosé to Elle King’s “Ex’s and Oh’s.” Olivia wisely blends the campy and the elegant, while Rosé swings for the fences—and, in the case of her messy dip, misses. Rosé looks shook to lose, flabbergasted at the idea that she could already be going home.
Tina Burner vs. Kahmora Hall vs. Elliott With Two Ts
Our only lip sync trio, the New York comedy queen, Chicago glamour queen, and Las Vegas dancing queen (respectively) battle it out to Christina Aguilera, Mya, Pink and Lil’ Kim’s version of “Lady Marmalade.” Going campy makes this a big win for the Burner, as Tina—who is really leaning into the firefighter-styled items, in her entrance and confessional looks—steals the spotlight. Poor Elliott can barely keep up, as her dance moves fade into the background. She and the elegant Kahmora sashay away, joining the rest of the losing queens in the Porkchop Loading Dock.
So what happens to the eliminated queens? For a second, it looks like we might be getting a very short season of Drag Race, as Ru comes over the loudspeaker to announce that they indeed will all be getting shipped off. Rosé cracks a joke to laugh through the pain; Tamisha says she called it. But after Michelle points out Ru just eliminated half the cast—with the winning half blissfully celebrating in the workroom—Ru reconsiders. Instead of eliminating them all, the queens themselves will just be eliminating one, in an All Stars 5-esque vote. (In a perfect moment, Tamisha deadpans, “I’m the only Black girl, so don’t vote me off.”)
The queens seem perplexed as to how to go about this. They don’t know each other, as Utica and Elliott note in confessionals. But one has to go, and I’d bet those who came in to the Porkchop Loading Dock last will fare the worst in a vote. That, however, will be seen in full next week, as we get the results of the vote and lead into a challenge with the six winning queens.
It will come as no surprise that I love this premiere, the best in five years. It’s my favourite regular-season premiere since Season 8, and my favourite including the spinoffs since All Stars 2. It’s fast-paced, fun, genuinely surprising and gives us a lot of hope for what could come next.
New Year’s Day is not a present-giving holiday, but I nonetheless feel very much gifted to get this episode as we begin 2021. Drag Race is promising us an exciting new era.
Untucking our final thoughts
✨ Notably, there are only four judges’ seats with the partitions up. Looks like it will be a four-judge panel all season long, just like Drag Race UK. (This is a very welcome change.)
✨ A question that has plagued Drag Race super sleuths since last season: Why were there only 13 queens for a split premiere that seemed designed for two even groups? Who was the 14th queen? Ru offers a potential answer in his interview with Tamisha. She was originally cast for Season 12, and her cancer diagnosis prevented her from competing. I’m so glad she got the chance to return.
✨ Here’s a wild bit of trivia: Tina, whose name out of drag is Kristian Seeber, dated RuPaul’s Drag Race UK judge Graham Norton back in the mid-2000s! (Moreover, The New Zealand Herald called it a “tumultuous affair”!)
✨ A great change in Ru’s catchphrase on the main stage: “Racers, start your engines, and may the best drag queen win.” It’s very good to finally have that line adjusted, hopefully permanently. “Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines” from All Stars 4 (which featured trans queen Gia Gunn) didn’t stick—nor did it reflect non-binary contestants.
✨ The stock knife effect and scream when Ru says “The Porkchop” cracks me up every time.
✨ Of the lip sync songs, only one is a repeat: “When I Grow Up.” An interesting choice, considering Coco Montrese absolutely slayed that song in her lip sync against Monica Beverly Hillz in Season 5. Among the others, this is the first time songs by Lindsay Lohan, Elle King, Mya and Lil’ Kim have been performed on the show.
✨ I would like to humbly ask World of Wonder if I can take a trip to the Porkchop Loading Dock when the pandemic is over. What a funny little room; love all the photos of the first-eliminated queens. I wonder who will join them for real?
The next episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race premieres Friday, Jan. 8, at 8 p.m. EST on VH1 in the US and OUTtv in Canada.
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