(Enjoy the best of amateur porn at Hump, Dan Savage’s travelling ode to homemade desire caught on video./Photo supplied.)
Wednesday, Sept 16
Come Together
I once had a shirt boasting this mantra — and, let me tell you, I was quite a hit at the bar. Unfortunately, too many men took the quote literally and the shirt soon had so many stains on it that I couldn’t wear it any more. But I digress. This “Come Together” event is a queer and trans open mic night: “a monthly event to showcase the talents of queer and trans musicians, poets, spoken word artists and performers of all things wonderful.” 7pm doors, 7–7:20pm sign up time for anyone wishing to perform, 7:30–9:30pm performances. Heartwood Community Café, 317 East Broadway St. Sliding scale $0–10 suggested. heartwoodcc.ca
Friday, Sept 18
Dan Savage Hump Tour
I went to this last year and had the best time! What more can you ask for: amateur porn on a huge screen, a bar right in the Rio theatre, and even a server, so you don’t have to get up and flash your hard-on going for a drink. Although I do have to admit that I got up a few times just to show off! This year’s Hump collection features 18 choices, from Beethoven’s Stiff to my personal favourite, Butthole Lickin, which will probably have you squirming and laughing at the same time. I highly recommend this event for a first date, and a blind date for sure. Tonight has two showings, at 7pm and 9pm. Saturday showings at 8pm and 10pm. Rio Theatre, 1660 East Broadway St. Tickets $23. For a complete listing of movies go to https://humptour.boldtypetickets.com/. See you there Saturday at 8pm — I’ll be the one with the empty popcorn box in my lap!
Saturday, Sept 19
NOIR Fetish Ball 5th Anniversary
We all have a bit of a dark side hidden away, although mine seems to come out at the drop of a towel. This fifth annual event is the perfect place to let yourself go and learn just what your body craves. Check out the Front & Centre Dungeon Stage that has come to redefine the local fetish scene. Also planned are the Suspension Station and the Fire-Play Demo which are sure to make the room, and everyone in it, hot as hell. And the best is saved for last, a tradition that has to be seen to be appreciated and savoured: The Human Dessert Platter, I kid you not . . . yum. Music by Logic & Unicod, NOIR’s original resident DJs. 9pm–3am. Club 8×6, 1775 Haro St. Cover $16 before 10pm, $20 after. https://www.facebook.com/events/960344237362057/
Sunday, Sept 20
AIDS Walk For Life
After all the porn on Friday, the Dungeon on Saturday (and the piggy you made of yourself with the Human Dessert Platter), now it’s time to give something back. Participate in the 30th AIDS Walk For Life and help improve life for people living with HIV. “Even while the rate of new HIV diagnoses in BC decreased in 2012 to its lowest point since the start of the epidemic, the number of HIV-positive members of Positive Living BC has increased by between 200-500 people each year,” say organizers at Positive Living, whose membership now includes more than 5,700 of the estimated 11,700 people in BC living with HIV. Registration is at 10am, and the walk starts at 11am. Sunset Beach. For a map, more info and registration information go to aidswalkforlife.ca/Vancouver.htm
Legendary Ladies
If you live in the West End you may think that drag revolves around the iconic Conni Smudge and the flexible Carlotta Gurl, but yes, there are more queens out there. For a night of old time, classy broad, dress-up drag, check out this Las Vegas-inspired, character-driven show with Jaylene Tyme and Iona Whipp. 10pm–3am. The Odyssey, 686 West Hastings St. Cover $5 or free with transit or cab receipt – really! https://www.facebook.com/events/899687733449376/
Monday, Sept 21
Naked Yoga
Summer is over so it’s time to get back into meditation, self-exploration and maybe even a few sessions of naked yoga. It’s an amazing, freeing experience that I would recommend to anyone. Although I learned though through personal experience to get there early and grab a spot at the front. Unless you have a fetish for about a dozen hairy buttholes winking at you all night, in which case the back row is for you. Feel at ease in a sex-positive space and share your yoga positions while engaging in sessions that include partner yoga, body work, massage and tantric practises. 7–9pm. Club 8×6, 1775 Haro St. $15 donation, bring your own mat. nudedudeyoga.com
Queer Prov
I always wanted to be on stage and do stand up. Problem is at 6’8 the mic only comes up to my crotch and ventriloquism is not my thing. Queer Prov has outgrown the 1181 stage but fear not. They’re just one short walk away and up some stairs at 1181’s sister space, XYYVR. And yes, Mr Ryan “please touch my pecs” Steele has moved with them! Every Monday night have a pre-show mixer with the cast at 6:30pm, show starts at 8pm. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. No cover. https://www.facebook.com/events/436914383167064/
Tuesday, Sept 22
Twisted Cooks
I have to admit that community classes have always been a lucky pick-up spot for me. Maybe it’s because at pottery class I acted like Patrick Swayze in Ghost, or the fact that in swimming class my shorts slipped off, or that volleyball night found me making friends in the shower . . . Now that I am getting older, maybe cooking class will provide the meat for my sandwich, so to speak. With a name like Twisted Cooks, how can we go wrong? Organizers say it’s a community kitchen in which older queers plan, purchase, cook, eat, and clean up a wonderful meal in a life-affirming and fun evening. Come prepared to cook, eat, clean up and laugh. If I flirt, maybe I’ll get out of the clean up? 4pm, Tuesdays. email the facilitator to register and get the location: twistedcooks@qmunity.ca
Gardening With HIM
Time to get down and dirty in the bushes with a group of gay guys as they plant some seed — real seed that is. Join this fun weekly gardening group for gay guys and meet great people while helping to grow food for the West End Organic Food Program. 7–8:30pm. Meet at Melriches Coffee House, 1244 Davie St. Sign up at register@checkhimout.ca or go to checkhimout.ca. For more information, contact aaron@checkhimout.ca.
(Think there’s an upcoming event I should attend? Click here to list your event on dailyxtra.com or send me a note at oitc.vancouver@dailyxtra.com.)
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