Deep Dish Toronto

Judge Pitbull
Sat, Aug 16 @ The Courthouse

On the eve of Madonna’s 50th birthday, we find ourselves at The Courthouse amidst other material men for the Judge Pitbull party. I remember first seeing Madonna in concert many years ago when Toronto police threatened to arrest her (and bring her to court) if she performed her make-believe masturbation segment. Tonight, like most nights, I make sure I jerk before going out to twerk. It’s just safer that way for me and other people on the dance floor, like designer Mic Carter. Usually, Pitbull’s parties are filled with so many hot guys that my crotch is like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode at the slightest touch. Distractions, like DJ Dwayne Minard’s Madonna medley and gogo dancer Shazad’s pole dancing routine, help soothe the itch. Tonight though, the crowd is sparse; the lowest turn out I’ve ever seen for this event. It makes me wonder: is Pitbull throwing too many events? They used to take place once every few months. Now, it seems there’s one every month, sometimes more. Are they spreading themselves too thin? Especially now, as Frances Gaudrealt and Steve Palmer have seen their brand set up party kennels in Montreal, Vancouver and even at sea on a cruise. “We just got back from Las Vegas,” Frances tells me. “They want us to bring Pitbull down there. Then we’re laying the ground work for a Pitbull party in London, England.” Their brand is growing globally, so perhaps people just don’t like this space. Every gay party I’ve attended at The Courthouse over the last year has been poorly attended. As I’ve said before, the grand atmosphere here is not conducive to man-on-man action. It’s better suited for Madonna’s 50th birthday party.

Sodom 5th Anniversary Throw Back Party
Sat, Aug 23 @ Club 120

On the eve of Sodom’s 5th anniversary Throw Back party, we find ourselves amongst other costumed civilians on the dancefloor of Club 120. I remember the first time I partied here, when I was dressed as a slutty superhero, and the space was packed. Tonight I’m dressed as a slutty Clark Kent, but the place is nowhere near as full as it once was. Is the end near for one of my events? Can Sodom circle the earth and go back in time, ridding itself of the kryptonite that seems to have infected its dancefloor, before the venue becomes a lonely fortress of solitude? Perhaps, like the TV series Smallville, it needs a reboot and the introduction of a younger, hotter Clark Kent. Party founder Mitchel Raphael seems to recognize this and has hired a new host. Jacob Gal could have at least worn a costume (those Joey Wargachuk cat ears don’t count) but those who are here tonight are enjoying the many shows taking place: Mahogany Brown, the first Miss Sodom, reprising her first Sodom performance; Sapphire Titha Reign as Pam the vampire from True Blood, sucking the life out of a over sized cardboard cut out of Rob Ford; and outgoing Miss Sodom SlimThick Monroe. Though attendance is down, the crowd has numerous super personalities (some have come for the grand opening of 120 Diner downstairs) including mayoral candidate Olivia Chow, author Steven Bereznai, actor Scott Thompson, writer Paul Bellini, artist Andrew Harwood and city councilor Kristyn Wong-Tam. None are in costume. Maybe the citizens of this metropolis are just too busy. I’m not sure how Superman does it.