So, after weeks of constant speculation, anticipation and straight white Christian males shitting themselves over the fact that someone other than them was appearing on TV for once (I know, I know: the horror! You’re not being catered to! Where else can you find television specifically for the majority, other than the other 99 percent of TV shows?) Chaz Bono finally made his dancing debut on Dancing with the Stars, and you know what? He killed it out there.
I mean, yeah, he still needs to loosen up a bit, but he was fun to watch, and thus far I have not spontaneously grown a desire for lady parts since you cannot get gender identity disorder via osmosis through your television screen. So all in all, a good night. Anyway, I’m on Team Chaz, and I really hope he doesn’t go home anytime soon, especially since Elisabetta Canalis pretty much performed what I can only guess was hepatitis A through interpretive dance. Seriously, last time she sucked that hard, George Clooney had to buy her dinner.