Anniversity

**The following blog was brought to you, in part, by the new and improved Up Your Alley’s one-day anniversity. IT’S A RELAUNCH BITCHES!**

Is there anything Britney Spears can’t do? Is there? IS THERE?

Just because she kicked off this year’s MTV Video Music Awards doesn’t make her the Queen of English, Duchess of Nouns, Lady Grammer and Empress of Every Word That Starts With A. Now I’m personally willing to overlook a lot from my beloved Britney, especially since she’s looking sexy nowadays, it’s just that she always seems to get herself into a dilly of a pickle and then falls face first into the whole bloody picklebarrel.

Why Britney? WHY? Ah fuck it. I couldn’t even give directions to the hot guy sitting across from me on the bus today. When I said Burrard, it sounded like Bukakke. Though maybe that was just a Fruedian slip.

I’m happy for Brit Brit. This is a sharp contrast to last year’s disaster at the VMAs. Need a reminder? Yeah you do.

For the record, Gimme More was played at a wedding I attended on Sunday and I loved every second of it. Unfortunately, it is joining alcohol on my “things that bring out the whore in horlor” list. Evidently, I had a tongue wrestle with a friend of a friend’s lesbian partner after challenging her to a sexy dance off during the song. I also made out with a friend of a friend (who is actually my friend, but you get the idea). Good god. Britney Spears you are the devil!