Abtastic 2009: Week 3…and guess what: I’ve Made a HUGE mistake

I’m sure you can all relate to the following clip from Arrested Development:

CollegeHumor’s Favorite Funny Videos

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

More on my huge mistake coming to you next week.

Now on to other abdominal-related things.

Do you know what happens when you type “story” into Google images? You get this:

Last week, I offered to tell you another reason why I’m doing this ab challenge via a story. If my story causes the above to happen to your face, I apologize. Nobody needs their regular face replaced with that of a blue man group “actor” who apparently has an AT&T logo instead of a proper left eyeball. NOBODY. Nor do they need a pair of mysterious keyhole earrings and a bad case of wire-head.

Back when the world wide web was brand spanking new, where, Pre-Google, nerdy teens like me used search engines called Sympatico and Altavista (altashutyourmouth?), I “stumbled” across a website (think Trinagate aka West Vancouver mom “stumbling” upon a copy of BUTT magazine in a sealed backpack in a store display, where the magazine just happened to “flip open by itself” to a portrait of two men rimming)…anyway, I “stumbled” across a website called See Me Get Big. It was an online fitness journal of this guy from San Diego who posted pictures of himself every week. The twist was that he had a goal to drop from 250lbs to 190lbs and bulk up with muscle. He also used the site to showcase his mad sewing skills and every week, designed and modelled his own line of underwear and speedos.

This guy was the reason I started lifting weights. I checked his site every week for about two years. And it was really cool to watch him set a goal and achieve it. And on the flipside, show me an average gay male teen and you’ll be showing me a teenager who’s dreams are haunted by colourful speedos and buff men.

Abtastic 2009 is my salute to that early internet pioneer. Thank you, 1990s stranger, for keeping me company during what was a confusing and very frustrating time for yours truly.

Here’s this week’s shots. Things are shaping up on Week 3. I’d like to give a shout out to Micah, Troy, Ryan and the rest of the staff at Davie Fitness World. You guys rock.

 

Ah what the hell, here are some bedroom eyes:

And here’s a W O W just because I love you:

Keep Reading

Sun

Rosalía’s ‘Lux’ tour taught me things I didn’t even know I could know

After years of pining, I finally went to the Catalan superstar’s concert. I wasn’t ready for what it did to me
The protagonists of Blood Lines embracing

The big twist in ‘Blood Lines’ is more than shocking

Gail Maurice’s queer Métis romance takes a massive risk—letting it dig deep into the pain and loss perpetuated by colonial structures
A still from Girls Like Girls

‘Girls Like Girls’ once meant everything to me. I’ve outgrown it

Hayley Kiyoko’s new movie tries to recapture the magic of the mid-2010s music video it’s based on. But time has dulled its revolutionary edge
John Early in Maddie's Secret holding two jars above an open box

‘Maddie’s Secret’ is the movie about eating disorders we need

John Early’s pastiche of after-school specials mixes belly laughs with gut punches. It’s a rare masterwork
Advertisement