14 minutes of Gaga. Why? Just . . . just why?

You know how sometimes you’ll see a fat person wearing something that’s, like, five sizes too small for them and then someone comments about how it’s like trying to fit 10 pounds of sugar into a five-pound bag? Because it doesn’t matter how sweet it is if it’s spilling out. I mean hell, do you want ants? Because that’s how you get ants!

Anyway, it turns out this saying works both ways. Don’t believe me? Trying watching this 14-minute Lady Gaga video for “Marry the Night.” It’s five pounds of sugar in a 10-pound bag. And I’m guessing someone decided to fill the remaining space with apathy and pretension.

Here’s the thing: I know Lady Gaga tries to paint herself as an artist, to the point where she spends the first 10 minutes beating us over the head with it (no, really — if this video were any less thinly veiled, it would just be 15 straight minutes of Lady Gaga screaming “I AM AN ARTIST” as she beat a dead horse into glue). But art is predominantly about people connecting with the artist. And unfortunately, you can’t do that when you sequester yourself in your own little world of naked Cheerios and fashionable nurses. She’s a first-rate art installation, but Lady Gaga just flat-out sucks at being a real human being.

Keep Reading

Charli XCX

Music, fashion, film, mess

Charli XCX’s new album is infinitely more fun to talk about than to actually hear

Tim Hortons and the no good very bad ‘Harry Potter’ collaboration

Tim Hortons licensing “Harry Potter” in 2026 essentially means directly funding J.K. Rowling’s anti-trans crusade
Makayla Couture, Juice Boxx, Aurora Matrix

‘Canada’s Drag Race All Stars’ Episode 3 recap: Reset to the mean

After starting the season with a bang—or two—this episode gets back to business as usual

Elliot Page is great in ‘The Odyssey.’ Let’s talk about that

Despite online controversy, director Christopher Nolan casting him is not a “woke” psy-op. It’s just the right actor for the right role
Advertisement