A lot of splashing makes great porn

This month I sat down to review the first part of The Guys Next Door, the epic new co-production between Falcon Studios and Next Door Entertainment.

The experience begins with a whole lot of pool splashing between Johnny Torque and Anthony Romero. We all know that splashing is porn foreplay, and before either had exchanged a word they were peeling off their wet, taut bathing suits. They’re both good-looking, muscular and tattooed, but more importantly, there’s chemistry between them.

The scene seems to span the whole day. What begins in the late morning light concludes as the sun begins to set and Torque and Romero press forehead to forehead, moaning for the climax of the scene.

Next, directors Steve Cruz and Chris Ward do a good job eroticizing Samuel O’Toole slowly drying off after he hops effortlessly out of that same pool. He wipes his muscular legs dry, pats his stomach, then walks in to an expectant Paul Wagner in the adjacent bedroom. These guys are even beefier and more vocal than the previous scene.

Depending on your perspective, O’Toole tops Wagner, or maybe Wagner bottoms O’Toole, but either way, it happens. The sweat is rolling off O’Toole by the end, but neither seems to care.

The fourth scene begins with Cody Cummings standing solo and naked, poolside. Before long he is joined by Romero for a moment, before Torque shows up, then one by one, Wagner, Landon Conrad, Marcus Mojo and Rod Daily arrive, for a total of seven guys.

I heard a theory recently that an odd number of participants constitutes an orgy, while an even number is just group sex. Either way, it’s Romero and Torque doing all the hard work and prima donna Cummings standing in one place like a jerk. I’m sorry, but you’re at an orgy — get involved.

Strangely, there was another scene after the massive seven-person strokefest between the very popular Torque and Andrew Jakk. That’s an act I wouldn’t want to follow, but these two don’t seem too worried. In fact, I think they’ve met before. They seem like old college buddies the way they get along. Torque in particular really makes the scene enjoyable with his wry smiles and dirty talk.

The Guys Next Door Part One is the best porn I’ve seen in a long time.