The best part of waking up

BY ROB SALERNO – A pair of Massachussetts businesswomen have launched “Gay Coffee.”

Okay, the beans don’t actually have sex with beans of the same gender, because they’re, you know, beans. But every tin of Gay Coffee is organic and fair trade, with one percent of all proceeds going to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. You can order packages of the coffee online for worldwide shipping.

Each of the five blends comes with a gay descriptor and some info about gay history. For example, the Good Morning, Mary! blend carries this bit of info:

One of the most enduring and influential aspects of gay culture in America
has been the delightful sensibility of camp. In eras when gay men faced intense
threat of persecution from the vice squad, camp and drag offered coded behavior
that allowed individuals to identify each other without risking arrest. A wry
celebration of humor and joy in the face of social ostracization, camp and drag
reminds us that life is a party to be celebrated! Enjoy this smooth blend of
dark and medium roasted beans – it’s truly fabulous!

The other flavours include Weekend Pass (a tribute to gay naval military history), Stone Butch Breakfast Blend, Second Date (lesbians and their U-Hauls) and Red Hanky Roast (a tribute to fisting and Bruce Springsteen).

The best part of waking up is fisters in your cup.

Given Gay Coffee’s love of dodgy puns, I recommend you skip the cream.

In overseas news, from South Africa comes the headline “Broody gay couple may use a surrogate,” in which the high court rules that gays can use surrogates to create children. Geez, you’d think the couple would be happier. They’re gonna have a baby!