The dangers of last-minute shopping

So let’s say, hypothetically speaking, you put off all your Christmas shopping until, oh, I don’t know . . . today. As in, less than two days before Christmas.

Now for some reason, Air Jordans are still a thing. I know — I didn’t think shoes endorsed by a former basketball player who hasn’t been on the court in years are still big gets during the holidays, but here we are. Anyway, let’s say you find a store that’s selling the shoes. Here’s the moral quandary: do you trample a little girl to get some shoes?

If you answered anything other than “HELL FUCKING NO,” don’t feel too bad, because it turns out an entire group of people will happily trample little girls in exchange for shoes. Yay, crass commercialism. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

Keep Reading

An image of the cover of 'No God but Us' against a zoomed portion of the cover featuring a lit candle and butterflies with eyes on their wings against a black background

‘No God but Us’ delves into the parallel universes created by war and displacement

Bobuq Sayed’s debut novel considers borders and ethics through the eyes of two queer Afghan lovers
Bentley Robles

Bentley Robles wants a brotherhood of gay pop stars

The yellow-haired singer talks rising stardom, Zara Larsson and dating while gay-famous
Vivek Shraya being kissed by a man

Vivek Shraya is hot, blond and hitting the dance floor

The Toronto multi-hyphenate’s new album, “VIVICA,” shirks respectability politics for a sensual, high-gloss exploration of queer and trans desire
Morphine Love Dion, Dawn and Morgan McMichaels

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 11’ plays it safe for the first bracket—until the very last minute

Already, we see the consequences of only two queens moving forward from each bracket to the semifinals
Advertisement