Want to eat human penis? Well . . .

I’m warning you right now, this one is kind of a doozy. Once you read this one, there is no going back. What is seen in tonight’s blog post cannot be unseen without the aid of years of reparative therapy and gin. Consider yourself warned . . .

An asexual illustrator in Tokyo made headlines recently when he not only decided to surgically remove his genitals, but then offered to season and braise them for someone dumb enough to fork over $250 for the meal. If you just grabbed your own junk out of sympathy pain, get ready because it just gets progressively worse from here. Via Calorielab:

On Sunday, April 13, Tokyo illustrator Mao Sugiyama (who goes by the nickname “HC”), publicly seasoned and braised his own genitals on a portable gas cartridge burner, and then served them to five eager diners who each paid about $250 for the meal (a sixth was a no-show). The genitals had been returned to the asexual Sugiyama, frozen and double-bagged in plastic, following elective genital removal surgery on his 22nd birthday on March 31.

The weird thing about this is that, objectively speaking from the perspective of price, both sides got completely screwed. If you’re going to chop off a part of your anatomy and then prepare it for someone to eat, $1,500 is kind of a rip-off. And conversely, there’s no way one inch of penis meat is worth $250. What do you think the markup on that is anyway? Someone here is getting totally taken for a ride.

On a side note, Buzzfeed has images of the severed human penis in all its gory glory, and for god’s sake, DO NOT LOOK AT IT. Or do. It’s the internet; I’m not the boss of you. But if you do look, I hope you enjoy never sleeping again.

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