Okay, I know, I know, this is a CANADIAN blog but c’mon, America was hilarious yesterday — how can I not follow up on it?
I mean, while Canada’s gay news this past day consisted of an old photo of Michael Ignatieff at a Pride parade, nationally syndicated right-wing radio loon Michael Savage was losing his freaking mind:
It seems that rogue homosexual elements within Homeland Security are
engaging in extra-constitutional activity. Where is the Republican
Party to protect us from this rogue Obama government?
Well, Michael, they were out in the streets, protesting! Yes, conservative Americans were teabagging all across the nation! And CNN’s Anderson Cooper was right in there:
He’ll be here all week, folks — try the veal! Meanwhile, Vanity Fair’s uber-wit James Wolcott did a fun round of compare-and-contrast:
“The wry urbanity of an NPR story poking light fun of the Tea
Parties — “Tea is a drink of serenity, not anger. Julee Rosanoff, one of
the owners of the Perennial Tea Room in downtown Seattle, says, ‘Tea is
a calming drink. When people sit down to have a cup of tea, they are
not in a hurry. It’s relaxing and constructive for discussion'” —
provokes Protein Wisdom hapless sidekick Dan Collins to get all hothead:
“Who the fuck writes this crap for NPR, and who the fuck considers this
in any way a legitimate analysis?” Perhaps Collins should brew himself
a nice cup of herbal tea and soothe his anger by staring at the
wallpaper until the patterns begin to gently sway.”
And that was the crux of all this — how can conservatives be this angry? These people didn’t blink while America bankrupted its finances, military and morality in Iraq but now they’re upset? While FOX cheerleaded, CNN attempted to find out what the hell is going on:
“Because he is.” An answer worthy of their similar approach to gay rights issues: so solid, so unyielding, so utterly without thought. My “favourite” example is the brief profile of one teabagger, 60-year-old retiree Joanne Wilder:
She lives on her
Social Security and disability benefits. Last year, she petitioned the
bankruptcy court for protection from creditors. She said she did not have to pay federal income taxes last year because her income was too low. “I don’t want to see this country turn into a welfare, nanny state,
where we stand in line for groceries, and we’re in welfare lines, and
in socialized medicine lines,” Wilder said.
I’m sorry to have to say this, ma’am, but you are a fucking idiot. “President Bush kept me safe”? Joanne, you depressed me so much, I had to go watch that glorious video of UK singer Susan Boyle four times in a row just to erase the memory of you!
Ah, but speaking of glorious videos, that sign-language Britney Spears number I posted last week was very popular and now “Hunk du Jour” (presumably your daily stop after this page) has a profile of ASL-interpreter hottie Michael DiMartino:
“I’m ecstatic that people are taking notice,” he says. Of course we are, Michael — loveliness like yours gives us hope for America, the hope we sure aren’t seeing on the news channels. And with that, I’m off for a soothing cup of tea!
Why you can trust Xtra
