Jesus was a tranny

I pick on the anti-gay conservatives but some days, they’re just a gift from God. On a grey rainy Tuesday, I get to laugh at a frankly unbelievable essay from Scott Lively (indeed!) in which he demands

“a revival of masculine Christianity, which is to say that we church
leaders need to stop being such, for lack of a better word, sissies
when it comes to social and political issues…We are on the brink of
utter defeat by our cultural adversaries and the church is only now
beginning to wake up to the consequences of our erstwhile passivity.”

Really? I don’t think the church is losing with the public because it’s full of passive sissies, I’d say it’s because the

church has too many hateful bigots. Urging them to be more manly is
not the answer, especially when no one is really sure what you’re
talking about:

“When exhibiting feminine qualities, Jesus was more nurturing
and relationship-oriented than any woman. When exhibiting masculinity,
Jesus was more forceful and results-oriented than any man.”

So
Jesus was transgendered? Cool! Oh, but wait — Lively says that’s a
bad thing since it keeps Christians from fighting the forces of evil
which appear to involve selling children into slavery and the Bee Gees:

Honestly, by the end of it all, I had no idea what he’s advocating other than “the spirit of conquest,” which has always worked out so well in the past.

At least Republican Michael Schwartz was a bit more clear in his talk on “The New Masculinity” at this weekend’s “Values Voter Summit” in Washington DC. Quoting a dear “ex-gay” friend of his (all the wingnuts seem to have one these days), Schwartz explained how young boys have an “instinct” to hate gay people — as long as they’re kept away from porn:

“all pornography is homosexual pornography because all
pornography turns your sexual drive inwards. Now think about that. And
if you, if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s
going to want to go out and get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure
he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants.”

That’s right, kid — PLAYBOY WILL MAKE YOU GAY. Well, that and the Bee Gees. And tranny Jesus. All I know is that when I was 11, I thought about the sex lives of other boys almost as much as these conservatives do.

*****

PS: I’m told that “tranny” is an offensive word to the transgender community so I’ll try and retire its use, but it’ll be hard — I like the word. It sounds fabulous and larger-than-life to me (which is probably exactly why people dislike it) and it’s far less offensive than gay men IDing and policing gender at a bar in Chicago. Looks like we’ve got some manly issues of our own to sort out too…