Government porking

Difference between American and Canadian politics #7,459: American politicians are totally bangable. I know, I didn’t believe it either, but here’s Representative Aaron Schock on the cover of Men’s Health showing off some sick abdominals. Why do I have the sudden urge to do my laundry and grate cheese at the same time? Meh, I’ll figure it out later. And just in case you’re wondering: yes, there is a possibility he might be one of those self-hating gay Republicans. Sure, I have no actual proof, and thus far, he hasn’t been caught tapping toes with an intern in a public bathroom, but let’s face it, people – you can only get abs like that by sucking a looooooot of cock.

On a side note, John Boehner was originally going to be the cover model instead of Schock, but unfortunately, he kept crying every time they tried to take his shirt off.

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