Chick-fil-A vs the Muppets: OH SNAP, IT’S ON

In the eternal battle between beloved childhood characters preaching tolerance and kindness and a regional fast-food chain that clogs your figurative heart with hate and your literal heart with trans fats, it’s kind of easy to see which side history will favour here. But because being spiteful A-holes is apparently a big part of whatever religion Chick-fil-A believes in, they decided to announce their severed ties with the Jim Henson Company in the most passive-aggressive way possible:

If you can’t read it, the sign says:

We apologize for any inconvenience but as of 7/19/2012, Chick-fil-A has voluntarily recalled all of the Jim Henson’s Creature Shop Puppet Kids Meal Toys due to a possible safety issue. Please be advised that there have not been any cases in which a child has actually been injured, however there have been some reports of children getting their fingers stuck in the holes of the puppets. We are offering a substitution of a complimentary kids Icedream cone in its place until a replacement toy is available.

Hmmmm . . . really? Are you sure there’s a possible safety issue, or do you just not want to address the elephant in the room? Because I’m, like, 99 percent sure one of the commandments is something like “Thou shalt not bear false witness.” Because doing something like that would be un-Christian, wouldn’t it?

Also, Icedream? Oy vey . . .

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