Why might a straight man be sexually or romantically attracted to men?

'Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!' says psychotherapist Joe Kort


Once in a while, a straight man might want to have sex with a man, just because he wants to — and it means nothing more than that, says psychotherapist and sex therapist Joe Kort.

Kort writes a blog for Huffington Post, in which he’s recently been exploring themes of why men are attracted to men.

In a recent post about out country singer Steve Grand’s song “All-American Boy” — in which a gay man falls in love with a straight man and they share a quick kiss — Kort explores why a gay man might be attracted to a straight man.

But Kort says that watching the video of the kiss also raises a question for many people: why did the straight guy in the video kiss the gay guy back?

In a follow-up blog post, Kort explores why some straight men are romantically or sexually attracted to other men.

He says there’s a long list of reasons why a straight man might be motivated — from “reliving first sexual experiences” to “father-hunger attention/approval seeking” to the simple “availability and opportunity” gay men present.

In some cases, the straight man’s desire might lead to sexual discovery and coming out as gay or bi, but not always, Kort cautions.

Back in 2008, Kort started Straight Guise, a website and blog with comment posting open to anyone who wanted to have a dialogue about men who have sex with men.

“[Straight Guise] explores the many reasons that men have sex with other men, only some of which have anything to do with homosexuality or bisexuality,” he says.

Bottom line: “It’s up to the man himself to decide if his interest in sex with other men is the beginning of the coming-out process, a sign of early sexual abuse, a sexual addiction, or some other form of acting out. It could also just be that once-in-a-while sex with men is something that a man might want and means nothing more than that,” Kort says.

He jokingly reminds, “As Freud is often said to have remarked, ‘Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!'”

On a new career adventure, I perform as a Stage Hypnotist (clubs, fundraisers, private shows, etc; www.BrandonTheHypnotist.com), as well as maintain a private practice in downtown Toronto as a Certified Consulting Hypnotist and Hypnotherapist (in short, I use hypnosis to help people overcome everyday problems.) Between August 1993 and January 2016, I worked with Pink Triangle Press (publisher of this website) as Publisher & Editor-in-chief and Director of Publishing. I joined PTP in August 1993 to establish the Ottawa operation and launch (then called) Capital Xtra, later rebranded to Xtra Ottawa. During my 22.5 year tenure with PTP, I lived and worked in Ottawa, Vancouver, and since 2001, Toronto. At some point, I served as Publisher & Editor-in-chief of every print product PTP published.

Read More About:
Relationships, Love & Sex, News, Canada

Keep Reading

In the midst of despair, how do you find the will to go on?

“We have a calling, here in this decaying world, and that is to live and to serve life with every precious breath that is gifted to us”

I’ve met someone amazing, but I can’t stand the way he smells. How do I talk to him about it? 

Kai weighs in on how to have a “scentsitive” conversation with a new date 

Queer and trans families are intentional. They take the shape of what you and your loved ones need most

In the nine-part series Queering Family, Xtra guest editor Stéphanie Verge introduces us to people who are redefining what it means to build and sustain a family

Valentine’s Day gifts for every queer in your life

Shower every love in your life with gifts galore this Valentine's Day