Crusin’ for goo

Pride is here again and most of us are proud and horny!

Whether you’re a local who’s fed up with the same old places, a closeted suburbanite who wants to let his hair down and get wild, or a visitor starving for our “exotic” meat, I have to tell you this: There is hope for your dick.

Toronto is not what it used to be. Long lost are the happy days of Remington’s Sperm Attack, when some willing boys would strip down and squirt for you (at 379 Yonge St), the amazing orgies at the Bijou (64 Gerrard St E) or the naked leather parties at the Toolbox (508 Eastern Ave).

These days, everything seems to be really boring – at least, officially. Police raids and regulations – old an new – certainly have spoiled the fun for Torontonians and tourists who might arrive from more prudish places, like New York City.

But hey, we’re gay, we’re proud and we’ve always managed to get some crazy fun going on, haven’t we?

Members of the sex website Squirt (at www.squirt.org) are always willing to give a cruiser in need a hand. They visit all the nasty places (no, I’ve never been to any, what makes you think that?) and tell us where to go (and where not to go).

We all see those guys in suits downtown, tired of meetings and stressed out by the volatility of the stock market and it’s easy to see they need a relief. You can help! According to loyal Squirt members, you can always find some willing suits at the Sheraton Hotel’s washrooms (123 Queen Street W). Some guys say the one it the lobby is the greatest, while others consider that the one two levels below is heaven.

If you’re more into the gym environment, you may try hunting down some executive types at the Good Life Gym (2 Queen St W), right by the Eaton Centre. Late afternoons are best: Open showers to catch your prey, a steam room to eat him alive.

For all of you outdoor sluts, summer is your time of the year. You can start at the parks, beginning with G Ross Lord Park (Dufferin St, just south of Steeles), Moore Park (from Moore Ave, east of Hudson Drive, or at the south end, just west of Bayview Ave), as well as Taylor Creek Park (off Don Mills, just north of O’Connor) and an all-time classic, the legendary David Balfour Park (Mt Pleasant Blvd near St Clair).

And let’s not forget the beaches, bitches! Yes, we do have beaches in Toronto. The first and obvious option is Hanlan’s Point, our official nude beach on the islands (take the ferries from the bottom of Bay St). Some guys are saying that this summer, vigilance will be much tighter. But I’m pretty sure there’ll still be action in the surrounding dunes and bushes and at the nearby showers.

And let’s not forget about Cherry Beach (east end of downtown, running south of Lakeshore Blvd, between Parliament St and Leslie St), a Squirter’s favourite! Some may argue it’s not really a beach butwho cares? Oh, don’t forget to give it a try at Riverdale public swimming pool (close to Danforth and Broadview). No action, but lots of eye candy, with almost naked gay guys eager to display their perfect bodies.

As far as public washrooms go, for some time now the first option has always been the one at The Bay department store (at Yonge and Bloor). That said, they’ve also been regularly targeted by security and police and, according to our members, several arrests have been made lately. So you might as well skip this one for now, unless you’re feeling particularly cocky.

Mall sluts can always check other places, such as Hazelton Lanes, in the Yorkville area, the Yonge/Eglinton Centre or even the Eaton Centre, though some of our members refer to the latter as a great place to hook up with someone, but not to get down to action.

Last, but not least, there’s always the option of the video arcades and theatres, with their dark, porn-fed glory. Video X (582 Yonge St) seems to be getting hotter and hotter, especially on Friday and Saturday nights, with its two small cinemas and booths. Also very popular is the Times Square Video (Yonge St, east side, between Dundas and Gerrard streets). Some even prefer the Metro Theatre (667 Bloor St West), though they warn you’ll find an older crowd there. And Barbwire (543 Yonge), with small cinemas and booths, seems to be pretty active at all times, with a predominance (according to our members) of Asian cruisers.

And yes, Church St is always be a major cruising area. You can just walk, sit on the steps by the Second Cup (546 Church St), or grab a cup of something at Starbucks (485 Church St), where there’s always the chance of starting some small talk with some hunk while waiting for your java. Or check out the second floor, where lots of guys supposedly meet for the first time, after hooking up on the Internet.

Remember, we have never, ever been to these places – God forbid – and therefore, rely on the up-to-date information provided by Squirt members – and your own intuition.

At the risk of sounding like your mother, be careful. Open sexual activity is not allowed in most places and there’s always a chance of getting busted by a cop or by some fun-spoiling straight fellow.

Follow the golden rule: Let the other guy approach you first. Or, if you start the conversation, let him be the one to touch his or your cock first. The most common strategy used by the police is to lure you with some hot bait and push you to make the first move.

And remember, substances can impair your judgment. If you’re cruising somewhere public, try not to be so drunk or stoned as to affect your “sixth sense.” Otherwise, you can always rely on it to tell you if the scene is safe or not. It has worked in the past, hasn’t it?

So, what are your waiting for, Mary? Your little friend down there needs to play. Go and have some proud, wild fun.

Carlos Weigle is the editor of Squirt (www.squirt.org), the sex website operated by Xtra’s parent company, Pink Triangle Press.