How TikTokers are giving great sex education while avoiding the censors

From bottoming tips to alternative strap-on harnesses, there’s a lot to love

This week, we’re talking about sex, baby, we’re talking about you and me, we’re talking ‘bout all the good things and the bad things that may be. Let’s talk about sex!

When it comes to LGBTQ2S+ safer sex, many of us didn’t learn it in school.

For a lot of queer folks, sex education comes through practise, lived experience and oral histories. We stumble our way through life, learning lessons and making mistakes until we just sort of figure it out. Sure, there are resources out there, but most schools aren’t teaching you how to safely prepare for bottoming as a cis gay man, or where to wear a strap-on if a traditional pelvic harness isn’t your groove.

And while these are things openly talked about within queer communities, many young folks—especially those just coming out and coming into themselves—don’t always have a ready-made resource on safe queer sex. 

Thankfully, like many things, there’s a TikTok for that. 

While TikTok is notorious for censoring or stifling queer creators, some users have found a way around those barriers to provide entertaining and informative sex education content on the platform. And that’s great—the app is a hotspot for young folks, and there are more young queer folks out there than ever before. According to a recent Trevor Project survey, 96 percent of queer youth said social media had a positive impact on their well-being, and that has a lot to do with inclusive and informative spaces. 

It turns out TikTok’s a pretty great space for bite-sized informative content about anything, including sex. 

There’s also specifically a lot of gay doctors on TikTok, and they have some pretty unique and relevant expertise. For example, user @doctorcarlton is a gastro-intestinal doctor who doles out hilarious but informative tips for GI health, particularly for gay men.

From how to deal with the hair situation for bears and cubs…

…to bottoming tips for your hot vax summer or advice on using poppers, he’s truly got it all.

@doctorcarlton

#gaysoftiktok #bottom#gaydoctor #BestSeatInTheHouse #foryourpride Don’t let an injury get in the way of your HOT GURL Summer-follow me on IG same name

♬ original sound – Doctor Carlton

@doctorcarlton

#gaysoftiktok #bottom #tiktokgay #gaydoctor Warnings about the serious drop in blood pressure in situations that can lead to serious consequences

♬ Circus – Britney Spears

And non-doctor users give tips from their own experience on bottom maintenance, like douching.

https://www.tiktok.com/@itsrubibish1/video/6961428465203580165?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1

When it comes to the act of sex itself, there’s advice for that, too—though users work hard to get around TikTok’s notorious censorship.

Lesbian TikTok user @femmepretender recently started a series of videos focusing on non-traditional ways to wear a strap-on harness, including thigh and hand harnesses.

@femmepretender

Reply to @shadowdiekatze i’m not an expert and also this is just my own opinion+experience:) #fypシ #foryou#DADMOVES#PerfectAsWeAre #harness #lgbt

♬ Lo-fi hip hop – NAO-K

While these are all great resources, remember it’s always important to fact check the information you get online. It may make a funny song, but not everything can be a dildo if you try hard enough. 

Queer TikToker of the week  🌈

Part of good sex education is sexual health and, true to his name, TikTok user @thatgaydoctor doles out medical advice, information and tips for navigating the medical system with a hilariously gay twist. He makes a repeated point to advocate for routine STI testing and safe sex in general.

@thatgaydoctor

I will be conducting all visits in rap format from here on out #gay #doctor #rap #drcardi

♬ AK47 Tik Tok – Pr!d3

And as a bonus, he also routinely goes to bat against transphobes and their inaccurate medical takes online. We truly love to see it.

@thatgaydoctor

since @westcoastcalifornian still isn’t getting it, I had to clarify further. #translivesmatter #lgbtq

♬ original sound – thatgaydoctor

Senior editor Mel Woods is an English-speaking Vancouver-based writer and audio producer and a former associate editor with HuffPost Canada. A proud prairie queer and ranch dressing expert, their work has also appeared in Vice, Slate, the Tyee, the CBC, the Globe and Mail and the Walrus.