Xposed: Feb 5, 2015

I have wanted to put a section called Queens Without Their Posing in Xtra for ages but haven’t dared take one baby-deer step into that foray for fear of being beaten to death on a dancefloor by a hopped-up queen and her 10-inch stilettos. They fight dirty, them drag queens. But now that Xtra is almost over, I can finally put one in! Here’s Gia Metric, sucking on a Coke at Woody’s with her eyelashes closed and her mouth open. She still looks flawless, so it’s a bit of a cheat, but I’m satisfied with myself for getting one in before the death of print.

I love this pic of Devine Brown in front of the giant peace sign at Woody’s. She’s gorgeous without the wig. Really, I like her a lot more with her natural hair colour, bleached blonde. In fact, this is what I wish Amber Rose really looked like. In any case, here is Devine looking flawlessly runway . . .

. . . and here is a brown-noser getting extra credit from her onstage. Oh, how I will miss displaying the sacrifice of lambs onstage at Woody’s.

I’ve been working this Xtra beat for close to a decade now, and some things just never, ever change. I remember the first time I saw Michelle Ross: she was doing Diana at Zipperz on a weekday, and they had these little tables and chairs set up on the dancefloor to watch the show. I was out with Maha that night — it was back when we were both 20 pounds thinner and still able to consume cocaine and sugary drinks on weekdays. She looked like this even then. Like, exactly the damn same as she does in this snap. She’s like Church Street’s very own Cher: turning back time, over and over again.

Maha has been taking pics for me for the last little while. It’s been a lot of work working with him, but Maha is a lot of work in general. I say that with love, ’cause like my mother says ad nauseam, “I might be a lot of work, but I’m a lot of payoff, too,” and it applies here. I am loving the silver hair with the beard and glasses thing he’s been doing lately; the black shirt on black button-down with pentagram is working, too. Maha is looking very nu-goth meets nu-Marc Jacobs lately, and I love it as much as I love this pain in the ass. On the right is some guy Maha is either sleeping with or trying to sleep with — who can keep up?

Since Maha sent me the photos from his rehab trip to Mexico, I didn’t get everyone’s name, and it’s impossible to get him on the phone. This lovely lady is what I like to call the “hot lezzie of the column.” I aim for one each time as a minimum — it has been my experience that lesbians don’t like to be photographed as much as drag queens, so they don’t get as much ink. These new young ones are a lot easier to work with, compared to the old days on Church, when it was pool halls and pizza nights and awkward turn-downs for me and my camera.

Meet Sam and her friend Ryan. I’d tell you where they are, but I don’t even know. Here’s what I do know, though: Sam looks so much like the famous model Jenny Shimizu (I think she dated Angelina Jolie or Madonna, one of them) that she could pass as her sister. That’s a stone-cold compliment, hands down.

Carson made the cut only ’cause I’d hit it.

I have no idea who this guy with the sunglasses is, but he is cold mackin’ those shades big time. I’m also into the revisited Sid Vicious chain-and-lock paired with a casual jean jacket. Sorry that this second-last column has been such a total shitting of the bed. After all these years, it had to happen at some point, right? Next up, a look through the past. Get ready to giggle and cringe.

Last, but certainly not least, is this unidentified queen. Since I put in a couple of legends, I figured why not balance it out with someone new and fresh? She made the cut for this goth version of a Nomi Malone here. Right down to that Versayce necklace. Boom!