We’ve lost Broadway

Well, it’s official people: Broadway isn’t just for gays anymore.

Yeah, I know, I’m totally bummed about it too. Well, not really. Seriously, have you ever forced yourself to sit through Oliver!?
Christ, not even a completely useless exclamation mark could save that
piece of crap. And it was kind of a long time coming. The straights have
already taken Top Gun, Jeremy Bilding and the inability to dress
age-appropriately from us. Eventually, they were gonna jack out love of
randomly bursting into song over mustard stains.

Also, I’m suddenly reminded why Brooke Shields doesn’t have a career anymore. Admit it: it was all downhill for her after she let Andre Agassi stick his cock in her. Andre Agassi’s penis ruins everything.