“This is a farewell kiss! Dog! Dog!”

That’s what Iraqi journalist Muntazir al-Zaidi is yelling as he attacks George W. Bush in the video I can’t seem to stop playing over and over:

Everyone’s assuming al-Zaidi has been shipped off to Guantanamo already but let’s hope he wasn’t tasered by secret service goons. These days, the notion of the taser as a non-lethal alternative to guns is about as credible as Paris Hilton as a serious actress.

Yikes! Such a dark start to our Monday! Let’s lighten things up with some sassy style advice from the suave Tom Ford:

“There’s one indulgence every man should try in his lifetime: If you’re
straight, sleep with a man at least once, and if you’re gay, don’t go
through life without sleeping with a woman. Either way, you might be
surprised at how natural it will feel if you can get past the mind-fuck
of stereotypes. In the end, it’s just another person that you are
relating to in a physical way.”

I dunno, Tom: nasal washing is good for you too but you won’t find me doing that anytime soon!

Nor will I take up Rufus Wainwright‘s advice on who to sleep with. I loved him on Friday but now he’s gone and spouted off on gay marriage. He’s not a fan, which is fine, but in his plea for libertarianism, he says:

“I don’t think any government should encroach on what goes on in the
bedroom at all. Frankly, if you want to marry a dog, why don’t you go
ahead and marry a dog, I don’t care.”

Can’t wait to see the Christian Newswire tomorrow: “Gay Singer Advocates Marrying Dogs.” Thanks for helping, Rufus.

Besides, he should listen to the Iraqis: you don’t marry dogs, you throw shoes at them!

 

A former editor of the late, lamented fab magazine, Scott has been writing for Xtra since 2007 on a variety of topics in news pieces, interviews, blogs, reviews and humour pieces. He lives on the Danforth with his boyfriend of 12 years, a manic Jack Russell Terrier, a well-stocked mini-bar and a shelf of toy Daleks.

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