After last week afforded us a fan-favourite episode in the form of the annual Snatch Game, this week’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race gives us the dreaded singing challenge. It turns out there’s a reason most of these queens just lip sync, soooooo . . . Well, hopefully a few of them can carry a tune. Let’s take a look at the shit that worked and the shit that gleeked.
In the aftermath of Jinkx Monsoon’s win and Lineysha Sparx’s dismissal, the queens spend roughly five seconds congratulating the former and eulogizing the latter’s craftiness before Roxxxy Andrews butts in to remind everyone that she played Tamar Braxton. Remember that? Remember when she played Tamar Braxton? (Of course you don’t, because no one cares.) Jinkx isn’t too keen about how codependent Rolaskatox is and warns them in her talking head that she’s still a force to be reckoned with. A force that needs to take occasional naps throughout the day because she has narcolepsy, but a threat nonetheless!
The next day, the queens enter the workroom followed by Ru, who welcomes the girls by turning off all the lights. Their mini-challenge this week is to do their makeup in the dark, because you never know when you’re going to have to paint while flying blind. But honestly, who are we kidding? If the lights go off in a gay club, it’ll be a wall-to-wall orgy. Regardless, the queens get to painting, and in case you’re wondering, yes: Alyssa Edwards still makes weird faces in the mirror when she can’t even see herself. Oh Alyssa, you are secretly the biggest dork in this competition, and I love you for it.
When the lights come on and the queens lift their veils (which Jinkx uses to drop a Death Becomes Her reference, because Jinkx is the best), Detox is more or less the winner by default, since Coco Montrese looks like she fell face-first into a bowl of Cheetos dust, Jade Jolie accidentally went $5 whore, and Alaska looks like she tried to eat her lipstick. So what does she win? Well, the queens are going to have to put together a “We Are the World”-style charity anthem called “Can I Get an Amen?” As the winner, Detox gets to pick the teams for the song, so of course, she ties together Rolaskatox, groups together Jinkx, Jade and Ivy Winters, and pairs Coco and Alyssa. You can practically hear Coco’s engines power down, because she’s not having any of this shit.
Yes, Coco is still riding her pseudo feud (feudo?) with Alyssa for all the attention she can get, and when she’s forced to work with her rival to raise money for charity, she’s not even going to bother trying. Once again, this is charity. Charity. To her credit, Alyssa is working with a bum partner and zero vocal talent, but she’s intent on turning lemons to lemonade by going full Rachel Berry, complete with earnest-as-fuck physicality and lyrics.
Poor little Jade Jolie isn’t faring much better in her group, although in her case it’s because her teammates actually don’t suck. Not only is Jinkx a Broadway-bound singer, but it turns out Ivy is a trained opera singer. So to recap here: Ivy is a knife-juggling, sword-swallowing, fire-breathing, dress-sewing, opera-singing drag queen. If it’s possible for a queen to be overqualified, I think Ivy might just be. Unfortunately, Jade isn’t much of a singer, and she’s about to get double steamrolled. Meanwhile, in Rolaskatox land, cracks have begun to show on their immaculate surfaces. Roxxxy and Detox are a few bon mots away from full-on fucking in the workroom, and Alaska wants to actually win a challenge for once instead of just serving as the third wheel for Rotoxxx’s impending kai kai.