Tell me this is a joke

On his way home from work in downtown Ottawa, a man comes to a dead halt in traffic and thinks to himself, “Wow, this traffic is even worse than usual. Nothing is moving!”

He notices a police officer walking between cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, “Excuse me, officer. What seems to be the holdup?”

The officer comes over to his car and replies, “The prime minister is just so depressed that he stopped his limo in the middle of the freeway. He’s threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start himself on fire. He says everyone hates him despite his re-election, but he can’t quit because he loves this country the money. So I’m walking around to take collections for him.”

“Oh really? How much have you collected so far?” the man asks as he reaches for his wallet.

“So far only about a hundred litres, but I’ve got a lot of folks siphoning…”

Keep Reading

A flaming torch

‘Survivor’ helped me climb a volcano

Instead of training for a gruelling day-long hike, I listened to podcasts about my favourite TV show. It paid off
Michaela Coel and Anne Hathaway

‘Mother Mary’ nails how devastating a first lesbian breakup can be

In A24’s new pop star drama, Anne Hathaway captures the physicality of a tormented ex-lover aching for answers—and deliverance
The cover of Afternoon Hours of a Hermit; Patrick Cottrell

In ‘Afternoon Hours of a Hermit,’ Patrick Cottrell writes a protagonist who does everything wrong—again

The pseudo-sequel to Cottrell’s acclaimed first novel brilliantly retraces old ground
Myki Meeks with an up arrow behind her; Darlene Mitchell with a down arrow behind her

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 18, Episode 16 power ranking: Three of hearts

We take one last look back at our final three queens’ journeys
Advertisement