Tell me this is a joke

On his way home from work in downtown Ottawa, a man comes to a dead halt in traffic and thinks to himself, “Wow, this traffic is even worse than usual. Nothing is moving!”

He notices a police officer walking between cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, “Excuse me, officer. What seems to be the holdup?”

The officer comes over to his car and replies, “The prime minister is just so depressed that he stopped his limo in the middle of the freeway. He’s threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start himself on fire. He says everyone hates him despite his re-election, but he can’t quit because he loves this country the money. So I’m walking around to take collections for him.”

“Oh really? How much have you collected so far?” the man asks as he reaches for his wallet.

“So far only about a hundred litres, but I’ve got a lot of folks siphoning…”

Keep Reading

Michael B. Jordan in Sinners; Leonardo DiCaprio in One Battle After Another

Will ‘Sinners’ win Best Picture at the Oscars?

“One Battle After Another” seemed locked in to win the film industry’s top prize. But a once-simple awards race has gone haywire
The cover of Staying Power by Zena Sharman; Zena Sharman

Zena Sharman’s new book stitches death, life and sex into a beautiful tapestry

In “Staying Power,” kink and community help Sharman navigate parenthood, divorce and the death of her mother 
Jane Don't with an up arrow behind her; Athena Dion with a down arrow behind her

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 18, Episode 9 power ranking: And the Tony goes to …

This season is increasingly looking like a race between two queens
Myki Meeks and Darlene Mitchell

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 18, Episode 9 recap: Bring it to the ball, Fannie

Did RuPaul spend his off-season seeing “CATS: The Jellicle Ball”?