You know those events that you can say happen but you blank when pressed for details? That’s the best way to explain the video for “Sexercise,” the health-obsessed new single from Kylie Minogue’s latest album, Kiss Me Once. Like sex itself, the video is enjoyable but raises nothing but questions in the cold and harsh light of day:
What kind of all-female gym is this? The only recognizable equipment spotted are translucent exercise balls and gymnast horses. Otherwise, who knows what is happening? Sky-high red heels don’t feel like they promote optimal squatting technique and dry-humping exercise balls is probably not the best way to work your core.
Speaking of confusion, there are more than a few clips where it’s impossible to tell what has been zoomed in on. Was that a butt? An armpit? A vagina from behind a chain-link fence? Who knew the human anatomy could be so mystifying. It all feels like a foggy Saturday night at the bathhouse: full of befuddlement and only the vaguest hint that you enjoyed yourself.
Then again, Minogue looks better now than most people probably ever will, so she could be on to something.
Finally, is this really what all-female gyms look like? Ladies, are you get handed a skin-tight white leotard upon entry? Inquiring minds need to know.
Either way, “Sexercise” may need to sit aside for a little bit. We all know Olivia Newton-John and Jane Fonda are still the queens of sexy aerobics.
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